Why are women difficult as friends?

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bangles
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Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby bangles » Thu Jan 13, 2011 1:05 am

I don't mean to offend anyone here, but in my experience (along with the experience of others that I've known, or are close to me), women tend to be very difficult to befriend and to maintain friendships with.

When I was growing up, I never understood the attitude, the cattiness, the "you know what you did" stuff, etc. I remember as a child, I was the girl who was able to get along with the boys, would laugh at their jokes, etc. whereas the other girls would sit there, roll their eyes, and pretend to be mature. As I continued to get older into my teen years, I was still the girl who was able to joke around with guys, talk with them, etc. while the other girls would accuse me of having these mysterious crushes on them or that I was "taking away" their crush, ask me how and why I can talk to them, etc. I never understood it. I don't like drama and currently, go out of my way to even avoid family drama, and especially drama at work.

Once I got to college, I noticed that women continued to be extremely cliquey. Where I live, people are VERY cliquey, and it's actually really ridiculous. I've been in women-only groups for church, gone to meet-ups, activities, etc. and it's almost the same thing. Are women just so afraid to let someone new into their "groups"?

Over the years I've lost friendships with women. When I did something wrong, I would own up to it right away, and apologize right away, and offer to make amends. I am very clear-cut in the way I approach people-- I don't believe in putting up a fake face or beating around the bush. One "friend" told me that just wasn't her "style" to be forward like that about what I did wrong, another friend told me I was off-putting, and another friend told me I was too demanding :?

In real life, I am a rather reserved person. I don't like to make trouble, get involved in it, but when I have been a friend I am empathetic, a good listener (people have told me this since I was a kid), and very loyal. I also am rather logical and structured, and I know just being that last one tends to send people flying :lol:

I'm also a modest person and a traditional person. I was raised with immigrant parents who are, sometimes a little wacky and anal, but as I have gotten older I can see the wisdom in some of the things they instilled in me. This tends to come out through my beliefs, my actions, worldviews, etc. For instance, just the other day I was talking to a coworker and she flat out told me "you're too logical and follow the policies too much. You should stop." That's actually not the first time another female has told me something along those lines!

I'll also be honest here-- I have been to therapy A LOT for various issues and according the therapists, there is nothing "wrong" with me, in the sense that I don't understand social cues or just don't get people. My personality is my personality, and that's just the way it is. However-- it was noted that with my particular personality, there are certain things that will make befriending women more difficult than normal. I have also noticed that it's easier for me to befriend and get along with men; unfortunately I am married so I need to have appropriate boundaries in place.

What do you all think? Is my experience unique?

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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby Mel.x » Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:47 pm

Without being rude, it sounds like you may have mild Autism, or ADHD?

Normally when people say ADHD you expect a crazed hyper person, but it affects girls differently to boys and craziness isnt always a tell tale sign. And people who are Autistic you think of someone who is really stupid, but again, that isnt the case.

My brother has ADHD to quite an extreme level and was tested for Autism, and he was just on the border, but fell into ADHD.

Along with his condition comes not understanding small things that actually make a a massive impact on his life, and others surrending him. For expample: He was quite a 'loner' when he was younger because he was just different, he would really care for animals which he got picked on for, he didnt understand metaphors which kids would laugh at him for, etc etc. As he has grown up (now 16) he still has a lot of these problems but he has managed to find his own friend group. But his logic, understanding of peoples vocal tones, understanding of body language, personal space etc is still very warped to most people which makes him still a bit of an odd bod.

After reading your post I kinda feel that your simular to my brotherm, and he will probably grow up to be in very simular situations as yourself.

But you've got it worse. Because your female, and MOST girls are very judgmental, bitchy, catty, not open to new people, sometimes spiteful etc girls arnt the easiest people to get along with. I find the same thing myself... Most girls I cant stand and dont ever want to associate with, but I get on with guys really easily :)

I dont think you should worry... Possibly speak to your doc about being tested for ADHD and Autism and if you do have a mild condition then at least you know and you can work from there :)

bangles
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby bangles » Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:15 pm

Um, thanks for the thinly veiled insult but I don't have autism, nor do I have ADHD. I did well in school when I was a kid and I don't have any problem understanding social cues, jokes, irony, figures of speech, or looking people in the eye when I talk to them. :roll:

I'm actually an introvert and I don't like drama. All of a sudden that means because I am female, I MUST have some sort of disorder?

panther11
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby panther11 » Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:20 am

Some women are difficult as friends & some arent.

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jamesthebond
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby jamesthebond » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:25 pm

It is because capitalist society doesn't provide women with equal rights with men and make them to be dependant on male persons. Girls are tought that they have to find a husband with a shoulder to lean on, not friends.

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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby Whisper » Wed May 25, 2011 3:44 am

bangles wrote:I don't mean to offend anyone here, but in my experience (along with the experience of others that I've known, or are close to me), women tend to be very difficult to befriend and to maintain friendships with.

When I was growing up, I never understood the attitude, the cattiness, the "you know what you did" stuff, etc. I remember as a child, I was the girl who was able to get along with the boys, would laugh at their jokes, etc. whereas the other girls would sit there, roll their eyes, and pretend to be mature. As I continued to get older into my teen years, I was still the girl who was able to joke around with guys, talk with them, etc. while the other girls would accuse me of having these mysterious crushes on them or that I was "taking away" their crush, ask me how and why I can talk to them, etc. I never understood it. I don't like drama and currently, go out of my way to even avoid family drama, and especially drama at work.

Once I got to college, I noticed that women continued to be extremely cliquey. Where I live, people are VERY cliquey, and it's actually really ridiculous. I've been in women-only groups for church, gone to meet-ups, activities, etc. and it's almost the same thing. Are women just so afraid to let someone new into their "groups"?

Over the years I've lost friendships with women. When I did something wrong, I would own up to it right away, and apologize right away, and offer to make amends. I am very clear-cut in the way I approach people-- I don't believe in putting up a fake face or beating around the bush. One "friend" told me that just wasn't her "style" to be forward like that about what I did wrong, another friend told me I was off-putting, and another friend told me I was too demanding :?

In real life, I am a rather reserved person. I don't like to make trouble, get involved in it, but when I have been a friend I am empathetic, a good listener (people have told me this since I was a kid), and very loyal. I also am rather logical and structured, and I know just being that last one tends to send people flying :lol:

I'm also a modest person and a traditional person. I was raised with immigrant parents who are, sometimes a little wacky and <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_64_255' target='_blank'>Anal</A>, but as I have gotten older I can see the wisdom in some of the things they instilled in me. This tends to come out through my beliefs, my actions, worldviews, etc. For instance, just the other day I was talking to a coworker and she flat out told me "you're too logical and follow the policies too much. You should stop." That's actually not the first time another female has told me something along those lines!

I'll also be honest here-- I have been to therapy A LOT for various issues and according the therapists, there is nothing "wrong" with me, in the sense that I don't understand social cues or just don't get people. My personality is my personality, and that's just the way it is. However-- it was noted that with my particular personality, there are certain things that will make befriending women more difficult than normal. I have also noticed that it's easier for me to befriend and get along with men; unfortunately I am married so I need to have appropriate boundaries in place.

What do you all think? Is my experience unique?



I have the same problem. Except that women have told me I'm the best friend they have ever had and know they can always trust me around their man. Yet, I cannot keep long term friendship with women no matter how hard I try. As I child, I too, had bys as friends, and as a teenager and into my adulthood. I've decided to accept this. Men are my friends. It is pointless to keep trying to be friends with women.
I've always felt a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting points of view he can entertain simultaneously on the same topic. ♥¸¸·*´¯`♥ღ*.¸¸.♥ღ♥ღ♥¸¸·*´¯`♥ღ*.¸¸.♥♥¸.·*´¯`♥ღ*·¸¸.♥

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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby splinkygb » Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:53 am

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Last edited by splinkygb on Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby koli » Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:16 am

the competition between girls sometimes cause the envies or others ,so it is a bit difficult to make friends ! :D Image
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby none of the above » Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:43 pm

Meh, even chap mates are too much hard work sometimes...
Do it now...before it's too late.....

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H. Franklin Layne
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby H. Franklin Layne » Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:37 am

Come on over NOTA! We'll stock the fridge, freezer and pantries, lock all the doors, and say f*** off to the world! Whatcha think? :lol:
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby none of the above » Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:15 am

I think if you were on this island somewhere I'd be bothering you already. :lol:
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby H. Franklin Layne » Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:42 am

none of the above wrote:I think if you were on this island somewhere I'd be bothering you already. :lol:


Depends on the island, I think! :wink: :lol:

Rip Van Fish wrote:I have lots of female friends- get on great.


Ladies almost always have a gay male friend, like you. :mrgreen: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby none of the above » Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:41 am

H. Franklin Layne wrote:
none of the above wrote:I think if you were on this island somewhere I'd be bothering you already. :lol:


Depends on the island, I think! :wink: :lol:

Rip Van Fish wrote:I have lots of female friends- get on great.


Ladies almost always have a gay male friend, like you. :mrgreen: :lol: :lol: :lol:



Well, there's plenty of islands to choose from, if this one I'm on now isn't good enough?? :( :lol:

All ladies should have a gay friend, then they will all know how it is to have a chap for a friend without all the complicated stuff getting in the way. And they will scare off any nutters too as a favour... :lol:
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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby H. Franklin Layne » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:34 pm

Your island is a little overcrowded for my liking, not to mention the weather is shiit! :lol: I'm sure we could find someplace much more intimate, and with fewer chavs! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Out for life, liberty, and the pursuit of cuntishness!

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Re: Why are women difficult as friends?

Postby none of the above » Mon Oct 17, 2011 9:51 pm

Well, there are uninhabited tropical islands going spare I guess.

It's not that bad here, there are places where the population is sparse indeed... in fact they're the best parts of the country. As for the weather... variety is exciting sometimes, I'm sure even you would find one day when the weather was to your liking. :lol:
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Does all the world seem behind you?

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