Photographic memory

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emilycurious
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Photographic memory

Postby emilycurious » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:14 pm

(Last week.)
Deb was at work at 5 this morning, usually she has ten hour shifts, but today she got off at noon.
She came straight to my house and we sit in the sun room in just our panties getting a little sun through the screens and drinking tea. It's a sunny day, but sporadically windy, and when it gusts through the screens our skin goosebumps and makes us gasp and giggle.
We came in through the basement door, just in case my nosey neighbours are out in their gardens - I guess if the light is right, you can see through the screens, but apart from the wind it's a really beautiful day and all my bushes are budding and the daffs, crocuses and blue bells are out in force. I'm not a gardener, it's a survival of the fittest regime here, but everyone seems to be holding their own.
Deb says I'm a theic - I'm not aware of a similar word for excessive coffee drinkers, but she'd be their poster child. I really don't like even the smell of coffee, so she's having to relearn old habits - I won't kiss her if she smells of the stuff, and she likes me to kiss her.
I can sense a question coming but I let her get to it in her own time, and as a preamble to the substantive she makes me laugh with tales of her weird customers.
When we hit a lull, "So, how was Paris?"
"It was nice."
"Nice?"
She laughs at me.
"Emmy, I've seen you cry before, but never like that. What happened there?"
"Deb, I'm here with you, I don't see that it matters."
"I know, but we said no secrets."
"It's not a secret, it's just the past."
"Then just tell me."
"I really don't want to."
"Emily."
"Deb, why upset yourself, and me? I honestly don't want to talk about it."
"Then show me."
"What?"
"Show me your phone."
"Deb why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I like to know what I'm up against."
"Deb, we went over this, it's you, it's all you, I'm happy to be with you."
She holds out her hand.
She looks amazing. It's sunny, but by no means warm, her nipples are hard and her breasts pert, the sun is glinting off her eyes and through her hair, she looks like some great painting. Someone's muse. My muse.
I shake my head and roll my eyes, "Just remember, I love you" and I'm transported back to Paris to that hallway outside Brie's apartment as she said the same to me.
I pick up my phone, and open Photos and scroll to the first one of Brie in Paris and hand it to Deb.
She's sitting forward, flipping through "You did the sights" and then grudgingly "she's very pretty, but thin."
And then. "Oh my god, who's this?" and showing the screen to me. Staring at me intently. It's Kristine, the sun casting her face and tumbling hair in a perfect portrait of youthfulness and purity. The green of the grass behind her only accentuates the colour of her hair.
"A young woman I met." I felt the catch in my throat as I got the words out.
"Did you verify that?"
"Deb she was 18, she was married. Deb give me the phone." I reach for it.
"But you still got her number."
"She got mine, and then I told her not to call me."
"Why?
"I was trying to be good."
"Oh Emily, that's not like you."
She looks at the screen "She doesn't look real."
She says "Did you.." as she swipes the photo "Oh fuçk, yes, you did."
She swipes through several nudes "Oh my god, she's perfect, jesus just look at her breasts"
"Deb she's 18."
"Fuçk Emily, I'm 20!"
"And just as perfect, seriously look at you, who looks like that?"
"She does, only better."
"Not better, different."
"You don't even like big breasts."
I laugh out loud.
I stand up and stand over her "I said this was a bad idea, give me the damn phone."
"You know you can't be scary in Hello Kitty boyshorts right?"
I snatch the phone.
"Why do you need to do this?"
"I'm re-establishing boundaries."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. We are different people, even if it's only six months or whatever."
"I just don't see why you had to do it this way."
"It wasn't planned, I didn't know she was in your phone. And you need to delete those."
I hand the phone back to her.
"Really? I will you know."
"Really."
She puts the phone down and reaches up and places her palm on my belly.
"What did you do to her to make her so damn happy?"
I kneel down in front of her.
"Let me show you."
--
There's a sheen of sweat across her chest, and a sprinkling of goosebumps over her breasts.
"You're cold" I said.
"I am a bit."
"Come on" I say, peeling her out of the chair "let's jump in the shower."
--
As she's washing my back "I think if we know more about each other then the ties will be stronger."
"I'm okay with it, I just don't think you will be."
"Not everything I guess, but I think people in normal relationships know stuff about each other. I'd just like it that if I ask you something, you'll tell me. I'm not going to pry into every detail, but I don't even know the basics, like how do you even know you were gay?"
"Well, here's the first lesson." Turning around and wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in close. "I'm not gay."
She splutters "pretty much you are" as the water falls over her head.
"That doesn't define me"
"Well it's not like I don't already know that about you"
"But do you, do you know everything about me?"
"But see" she grabs my arms and holds me still "that's exactly what I was saying, I don't know you. But I want to."
"And besides, I've slept with guys."
"No fuçking way! Oh wait, do you mean like I slept with Jeremy, I don't think anyone would call that sex."
"I mean the usual."
"Fuçk me!"
"Not in the shower, it's too dangerous."
She's giggling as she gets out and grabs towels.
--
As we are drying each other off:
"Who was it, where and was it consensual"
"I can't remember their names."
"Their?"
"There was more than one."
"At the same time?"
"No silly, I was at Uni, and experimenting with who I might be."
"How'd that work out."
"I think my choice of guys was a little limiting but I wasn't fulfilled in any way. How about you?"
"Me?"
"This is two way, I can ask you questions too."
"Well like you, I don't think you can say he was representative, and then you went and spoilt everything for anyone after."
"You never had sex?"
"No, we never got close, he'd shoot off as soon as I touched him and then he was done, I'm not sure from embarrassment or what. He was really nice to me though, and I always felt safe with him. Whereas you scared the S*** outta me."
"Deb I was so nice to you."
"Sure, while you were luring me in. I've never been so excited and yet so scared in my life."
"All 20 years."
"The first time you kissed me, no, wait, the first time you threatened to kiss me, I nearly fainted, my knees were like jello."
"I don't remember you complaining."
"I didn't think it would make much difference, you were going to do it anyway."
"But you wanted me to right?"
"I wanted you, and I was going to give you anything you asked for."
I kiss her and the towels fall to the floor.
"Let's get in bed."
"It's three in the afternoon!"
"You don't want to get in bed with me?"
She kisses me back "I do."
--
"Have you slept with a lot of women?"
She's snuggled into the side of me, in our usual one arm, one leg across my body, my arm is down her back, just caressing the dimples at the base of her spine.
"Twenty?"
"Yes" I say dismissively.
"Fifty?"
"Yes"
"One hundred?"
"Yes."
"Jesus" she's up on one arm staring at me.
"Two hundred?"
"Probably."
"Three hundred?"
"Possibly."
"Emily, that's insane, I've been with three. Three."
"But I have twenty years on you, that's what, seven thousand more days of opportunity, that's like three weeks between each one!"
"I don't think it's something to be proud of."
"Deb, I'm not proud, but I'm not ashamed either."
"How many were you in love with"
"I don't know."
"How many did you tell you were in love with them"
"Again, I don't know."
"Do you remember them?"
"Some, not all, the really good ones, and the really bad ones"
"Bad?"
"The ones I wanted to be in love with me but weren't, the cruel ones, and the ones who were smarter than me and who I couldn't protect myself from."
"See Em, this is what I mean, I need to know this to know who you are and how you got made this way."
"The good ones made me this way."
"How do you know?"
"I don't! How were you made this way with so little experience? Should me blame your parents? Or Jeremy?"
"You!" she says, rolling over on top of me. "You made me. I'm all yours."
--
Later, in the kitchen, when we are making a salad.
"Do you have photos of all of them."
"God no, just a few."
"Who?"
"You, of course."
"Really?"
"Yes, lots of you."
"And Rachel."
"Yes and Rachel."
"Is she still the one?"
I'm popping a cherry tomato into her mouth.
"No. We tried and failed. I think for the same reason you and I really shouldn't be together."
"You think I'm a baby."
"I think I'm too old for you."
"You're not, and anyway I'm the adult in this relationship."
I laugh and kiss her.
"Who else?"
"Who else? Who?"
"Photos. That girl in Baltimore."
I look at her.
"You came back different. Was she a good one or a bad one?"
"A good one."
"Were you in love with her?"
"No."
"She was with you though right, she sent letters."
"I don't know Deb, I don't know what people are calling love these days, do you know what love is?"
"Wanting to be with someone?"
"Yes, I suppose."
"Is she in your collection?" Collection, Kristine used that word.
"Yes."
"Who else?"
"Not many more. Just Anna."
"Who's Anna?"
"The first girl I kissed."
"She's in your phone then?"
"Deb, no one had phones then, besides I was 12 or 13."
"I had a phone at 12."
"Of course you did."
"Where is she then?"
"In a box in the basement."
She laughs, "I meant now!"
"How do you know she's not still in a box in the basement, maybe you're next, this might be your last meal."
She squeals as I grab her and tickle her and kiss her.
She hip bumps me "So?"
"Last I heard she was in Germany, married with a kid."
"Married to a man?"
"Yes."
"Whoa, how'd you find that out?"
"An old school friend who gets her kicks out of telling me such things."
"So what happened?"
"We were friends, then more than friends, then her parents found out and she disappeared."
"What?" She's holding onto my arm "Emmy what happened? How old were you?"
"17, actually one day short of 17"
"No way, on your birthday? Wow all that time, how did you do it?"
"We didn't do anything really, we were young and stupid and didn't think it through, other than to hide it from parents, nearly everyone else knew."
"Really, at 12?"
"No, not then, but later in middle school.."
"What's that?"
"Before High School."
"So, what, from 14 or 15 people knew you were gay?"
"It was never a label that was used, they just knew that Anna and I were together."
"Were you having sex?"
"Oh yes."
"Fuçk! And your parents didn't know? What about your sisters?"
"Well, it turns out my mother did know, but I didn't know she knew, and yes my sisters knew all along."
"But not hers?"
"No not hers."
"And they took her away."
"Yeah her Dad worked for the Army or the Navy or something, they just disappeared over night, then he got posted to Hawaii, and then they went to Germany, and I guess she stayed."
"Did you see her again?"
"Yeah I did, almost exactly 5 years later, shortly after my 22nd birthday. It was really horrible."
"Why?"
"I just did not recognise her. Physically and emotionally she was an entirely different person, we had absolutely nothing in common, we didn't even agreed on the past, I think she just erased me from her life."
"Were you very sad?"
"Actually I wasn't, I'd had five years to get over her, and the woman she became had nothing to do with anything from before with me."
"How did you cope at 17?"
"I didn't!" I laugh out loud and look at her "I was a complete Bleet for months, I think I ran away three times, I nearly got expelled from college."
"You were at university at 17?"
"No, it was 6th form college, like high school. I went to university in Newcastle at 18."
"That's where the experiments began."
"Yeah, I guess it saved me from being a complete asshole, I could re-invent myself, I only knew one person from Southampton who was there, and I never saw her, so, yeah, I became somewhat of a different person."
"Jesus, nothing ever happens to me."
"That's a good thing, trust me."
"'Cept you"
"That's a good thing, trust me."
"Emily" She hugs me.
"Let's eat."
--
We are in bed early, Deb needs seven hours and she's up at 4.
When I emerge from under the covers she kisses me and tells me how good I am to her. She's nicely relaxed and I can tell she's not far from sleep, so I roll her over and rub her butt softly, this always puts her to sleep.
When I hear the cadence of her breathing change, I grab my phone and sneak out.
--
Kristine stares back at me from the screen.
I'm never going to see this girl ever again, she really means nothing to me, but I can't hit delete.
I scroll back to Ara.
Eight photos. I delete one, two, three, then retrieve the last one from the trash.
I scroll back a year or so.
A bronzed blonde standing naked on a beach, hands on hips, a broad cheeky smile. I don't recall her name.
The next, two days later, just a pair of eyes peeking out from between pulled up sheets and dark ruffled bangs. The next the same girl, face down naked.
The next, three days on, a woman with golden curls head thrown back in laughter driving an open top car, obviously me taking it from the passenger seat. The next, our legs entangled amongst grass and sand. The next, me, topless, sand stuck to my breasts.
Then a few conventional scenes of a beach I don't recollect.
Then a girl running naked out of the surf, huge smile, huge eyes, her name jumps at me, Jenny. She was very petite, I called her Jenny Wren, small breasts, and unfortunately not recorded, but I do remember a perfect ass. A couple of selfies of us kissing. Many more of her over three weeks. Was I in love with her? Then two days later a new face.
I scroll all the way back to the first photo, just over two years ago when I got this phone, my back yard covered in snow.
The very next is a girl naked in my bath, huge smile and gorgeously alive eyes over rosey red cheeks, feigning shock and trying to cover herself. I don't recall her name.
I scroll forward randomly and it's Rachel at work. I swipe through maybe a hundred, she's only naked once, there's no way I can delete any of these even those from series that are so similar they are almost identical.
I put the phone down.
I grab a pen and sheet of paper and draw the nine dot pattern and the swipe password for my phone and write "delete what you want. xx"
When I put the phone down on the sheet of paper, the face activates and I see it's 1am - I've been flicking through photos and reminiscing about girls I can't remember for four hours.
I write "wake me before you leave" and go into the bedroom.
Deb is deep under the duvet, just the top of her head and hair starbursting across the pillow.
--
In the morning she has already been gone several hours.
In the kitchen my note and phone.
She circled 'delete' and wrote "I won't" then circled 'wake me' and wrote "I couldn't."
Under everything she writes "Off at 3.30. Come over but be at mine by six. Salmon, garlic mushrooms, new potatoes. xxxx D."
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." Attributed to Margaret Atwood.

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mostirreverent
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Re: Photographic memory

Postby mostirreverent » Wed May 02, 2018 3:51 am

you need to do this as a book on tape
"You did the sights" and then grudgingly "she's very pretty, but thin."
And then. "Oh my god, who's this?" and showing the screen to me
this has happened to me, though not often. I think most women just don't want to know, or know that I'm… well… lose. Not as lose as you though :D 300 :shock: 20 years of marriage will cut down on ones numbers :)
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices."
Mark Twain

"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
Mosti

Me in the Flesh Redux

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emilycurious
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Re: Photographic memory

Postby emilycurious » Wed May 02, 2018 4:39 pm

Not as lose as you though
But how often do you have sex?
I'm guessing you have way more than me.
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." Attributed to Margaret Atwood.

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mostirreverent
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Re: Photographic memory

Postby mostirreverent » Thu May 03, 2018 2:40 am

Not as lose as you though
But how often do you have sex?
I'm guessing you have way more than me.
I thought you were talking 300 partners, not frequency. I've only had 38. I've also gone back to the same one 3 different time relationship periods :)

I basically stay in something till they get tired of me, then a week later I fall into something else
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices."
Mark Twain

"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
Mosti

Me in the Flesh Redux

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emilycurious
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Re: Photographic memory

Postby emilycurious » Thu May 03, 2018 1:22 pm

I thought you were talking 300 partners
I am, but I'm betting the gaps between them were longer than the gaps between you having sex with your 38.
And I'm including times when only they came, which with newbies and straight girls happens too often!
I guess the metric should be love - how many times were you in love? I think I'd have a problem getting to ten.
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." Attributed to Margaret Atwood.

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mostirreverent
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Re: Photographic memory

Postby mostirreverent » Sat May 05, 2018 5:45 am

I thought you were talking 300 partners
I am, but I'm betting the gaps between them were longer than the gaps between you having sex with your 38.
And I'm including times when only they came, which with newbies and straight girls happens too often!
I guess the metric should be love - how many times were you in love? I think I'd have a problem getting to ten.
twice :shock:

Nubie meaning first time with a girl, even though gay?? makes sense. I've only had oral and anal virgins. The oral ones when I was young, so yeah, I came :) Now I have to work coming if a woman gives an uninspired or rather basic pornstar BJ. I suppose I expect the same nuanced and sensual head that I give, and that is few and far between. :(
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices."
Mark Twain

"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
Mosti

Me in the Flesh Redux

table
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Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:51 pm

Re: Photographic memory

Postby table » Wed Mar 17, 2021 1:49 am

No thanks, I would like to forget many things I have scene .


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