share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

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simonna
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share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby simonna » Sun Sep 30, 2018 4:10 pm

Hi everyone! Is there anyone who used/plans to use donor eggs? I have so many questions. Need your help! How and where did you find donor? Due to condition of my health de ivf is my last chance to have a baby. It’s so hard for me to decide on this procedure. I want to ask those who had already underwent this procedure, how do you feel now? Do you have regrets? What are your feelings toward your baby/babies? Do you have feelings that baby isn’t yours? I’m afraid I won’t be able to love this child. I asked my sister to be our donor. Unfortunately she refused. I thought that maybe it’ll be easier to accept this situation if we use eggs of my sis. She thinks it will be wrong if we rise her baby. Maybe she’s right… But what should I do now? I really need to talk to somebody about this. My mind is full of thoughts, doubts and questions. I feel like I’m going crazy( Another question is where is better to do this procedure? Will I be able to choose donor by myself? What about prices? I have no idea where to start. Moreover I’m not sure if I’m ready for this procedure. I hope you will help me to figure it out!

chirpyaubrey
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Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby chirpyaubrey » Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:45 am

I don't have a personal experience on donor conception to share... sorry for that. But in case it's still relevant I'd just want to say that it's better not to involve known people or family in these matters. You see in later years things might get complicated with the donor around as the child grows to an age where they can comprehend and might get torn up between biological mother and you. Why to take chances.

simonna
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Joined: Mon Dec 25, 2017 8:34 pm

Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby simonna » Thu May 30, 2019 11:10 pm

chirpyaubrey wrote:I don't have a personal experience on donor conception to share... sorry for that. But in case it's still relevant I'd just want to say that it's better not to involve known people or family in these matters. You see in later years things might get complicated with the donor around as the child grows to an age where they can comprehend and might get torn up between biological mother and you. Why to take chances.


Hello dear! You are the first one who responded to my thread. I was afraid no one will reply. I really need to know more info about this procedure. I’m little bit confused about it… I don’t want to involve relatives. So I’ll have to find donor somehow. Thank you again for your reply. It means a lot for me! Now I need to hear some success stories because sometimes I think there is no hope for me.

JuliaTN
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Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby JuliaTN » Thu May 30, 2019 11:18 pm

I have two DE conceived babies who are the light of my life. I have absolutely zero regrets whatsoever. We used an . donor. The process was very smooth. It cost us about 5k per one try of ivf and we used fresh embryos. Not expensive plus we saved some money for our babies. Ivf with de is amazing and my darlings are the most precious gift I've ever received. My donor is my hero. There are so many clinics in Europe which have high success rates. I wish you all the luck in the world.

simonna
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Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby simonna » Thu May 30, 2019 11:20 pm

JuliaTN wrote:I have two DE conceived babies who are the light of my life. I have absolutely zero regrets whatsoever. We used an . donor. The process was very smooth. It cost us about 5k per one try of ivf and we used fresh embryos. Not expensive plus we saved some money for our babies. Ivf with de is amazing and my darlings are the most precious gift I've ever received. My donor is my hero. There are so many clinics in Europe which have high success rates. I wish you all the luck in the world.


Thanks for your reply! I'm so grateful you didn't just path by and shared your experience with me. I'm so glad to know donor eggs worked for you! I will look more into European clinics. How exactly did you pick up your donor? How much attempts of ivf did you have? And which one was successful? I'm so sorry for so many questions! I hope you will help me to clarify the process! Thank you in advance!

jecky0805
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Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby jecky0805 » Thu May 30, 2019 11:23 pm

Don't beat yourself up! It is a very hard decision to make. I'd recommend you go for counselling to discuss whether it's right for you before you go down this road, although I think most clinics stipulate you having to do counselling anyway. I can completely relate to the feeling of feeling it isn't right for you and the only way you could really consider it was if your sister donated her eggs to you. I felt this way too, and funnily my sister offered before I even asked. Initially I was thrilled but the more I thought about it the more I realized I would actually prefer an identifiable stranger donor. I didn't want my child’s aunty to be their donor mum. I felt that would be too weird and confusing for my child and for their cousins. Also I realized the reason I was hung up on my sister doing it was because of how much I was struggling with having no genetic link with my child. The idea that my child would not carry my genetics was hard. Now though I realize that your child even if they are genetically linked to you, may not look like you, they may look like their dad, or gran or cousin. So I soon felt a stranger donor was the best option. It took me about a year to finally accept donor egg was our best option and to be happy with that.

Our clinic finds a donor for you based on what you pick as important to you with regards to physical attributes, proven fertility, age, etc. For us things like physical attributes were not important as we plan to tell our child about where they come from, but proven fertility, BMI, age...these can affect the likelihood of success, so they were vitally important to us. We decided not to use UK clinics as our child can then trace their donor if they wish to when they are old enough. We felt that was unnecessary.

I agree with comment above, the donors are heroes. I'm so grateful we live in an age where the door isn't shut on our chance to have a family. You will get your head around the idea, just give yourself time and talk it through with a counsellor. Like I say I'm delighted I finally had the sense to give up on my own dodgy eggs and move to DE. It's a cliche but you are only taking an egg... A single cell, the baby that you produce will be yours. Your body nourishes it, feeds it, keeps it safe and warm and love. It hears your heartbeat and your voice every day. It wouldn't turn out to be that same child in anyone’s body but yours. Epigenetics means that your body determines which genes are switched on and off... So you aren't just an incubator. You are the mum. Just give yourself time. Good luck with whatever you decide...xxx

JuliaTN
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Re: share your stories using donor eggs pls!!

Postby JuliaTN » Thu May 30, 2019 11:24 pm

simonna wrote:
JuliaTN wrote:I have two DE conceived babies who are the light of my life. I have absolutely zero regrets whatsoever. We used an . donor. The process was very smooth. It cost us about 5k per one try of ivf and we used fresh embryos. Not expensive plus we saved some money for our babies. Ivf with de is amazing and my darlings are the most precious gift I've ever received. My donor is my hero. There are so many clinics in Europe which have high success rates. I wish you all the luck in the world.


Thanks for your reply! I'm so grateful you didn't just path by and shared your experience with me. I'm so glad to know donor eggs worked for you! I will look more into European clinics. How exactly did you pick up your donor? How much attempts of ivf did you have? And which one was successful? I'm so sorry for so many questions! I hope you will help me to clarify the process! Thank you in advance!


Hi again, the clinic I chose selects the donor for you. But different clinics have different approaches. I wasn't concerned about physical characteristics. Everyone says my daughter looks like me and that my son looks like his dad. Many clinics give you a choice. So that might be something you would consider when selecting a clinic. My first full cycle was successful (mine are twins). I had one cancelled cycle before. That was because I had problems with my lining due to medication I was on. I can't recommend the process highly enough. It was a dream which came true.


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