Is it selfish to have an only child?

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Shabs_A
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Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby Shabs_A » Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:54 pm

What are your thoughts on parents who come to the decision that one is enough? Is it fair on the child, who won't get a say in having a sibling? :?

Would love to know your thoughts.

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happygirl
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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby happygirl » Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:40 am

Personally i wouldn't say its selfish...only that the people that i know that have grown up as an only child had quite a lonely life no siblings to share their birthdays or christmas's with :(
But on the other hand i also know people that have only one and really live a great life with theirs they just mix him/her with other children alot i.e cousins and friends children...... each to their own i say!! i have three boys and my god its hard work but have to say i love every min and wouldnt change them for the world :-) xxx
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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby H. Franklin Layne » Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:00 am

I think it only becomes selfish when people have kids for the wrong reasons. Kids aren't trophies or show pieces, they are human beings that don't ask to be born, and they can't choose their families. If you and your hub are only able to provide for one child, then have that child, love him or her and do your very best to raise that child to be a decent, law abiding, citizen with some education and good morals and ethics. I think that's the best anyone can do, and the child will be just fine with stable parents and a stable home.
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ShabsA
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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby ShabsA » Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:58 pm

Thanks for your insightful replies. I am an only child myself and have recently started questioning why my parents never had another. Your responses have given me some clarity!!

chirpyaubrey
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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby chirpyaubrey » Sat Oct 27, 2018 6:11 am

Yes, it as an act of being selfish. Basically hat I feel that a single child becomes very lonely and introvert. They need someone of their kind to share thoughts or to play around with. Having a sibling is the best thing that can happen to anyone. Give it a thought. Go for a second one. The more the member the more the fun.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby HampshireBoy » Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:55 pm

There can be many reasons for only having one child, some "selfish" and others less so. For example I have friends who lost two babies before a successful birth, they then had another miscarriage and decided that they couldn't go through that heartache again. I wouldn't call their decision selfish in any way.

Some parents of only children do cosset them and bring them up effectively as loners, others encourage their kids to take part in all sorts of activities and the kids grow up as well rounded individuals. So, as with so many things, the answer is "it depends".

I wouldn't label parents of only children as "selfish" without knowing all sorts of background information, and anyway the most important thing is how the child turns out and how they feel.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby chirpyaubrey » Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:28 pm

Yes, I guess so. You are doing bad to your child. You are being selfish of course. If you have the chances then why not go for another baby. Your single child may face some problem when he or she grows up. Siblings are the best part of joy. They may cry together, laughs together, give each other their siblings love. Share love with them, etc.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby HampshireBoy » Mon Nov 26, 2018 7:04 pm

chirpyaubrey wrote:Yes, I guess so. You are doing bad to your child. You are being selfish of course. If you have the chances then why not go for another baby. Your single child may face some problem when he or she grows up. Siblings are the best part of joy. They may cry together, laughs together, give each other their siblings love. Share love with them, etc.

You have effectively posted the same reply twice.

For balance; I know several people for whom their sibling has been a constant source of pain and heartache and they would have possibly been better as an only child. None of us can predict with any certainty what the outcome would be of parents having further children.

I also probably should mention friends who had a planned second child, who turned out to be twins, they then decided to have another child to "even up" and had a second set of twins. They therefore ended up with five kids, which really stretched their finances. Some people might suggest that had they stopped at one or three there would have been more money and time to spend on those kids so would that have been "better", there is no way to know. All five kids seem to have turned out ok.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby Tuney » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:37 am

No you are not being selfish. Quite the opposite. The main reason for all the earth's problems is overpopulation. With big families the demand on the planet is destroying it. It is already too late. So don't boast that you are helping the planet by your diet, not flying, etc. None of that matters. Having only one child will become compulsory, as will abortion and even a cull of the population. Sounds absolutely horrendous, but people don't realise how close this is to reality.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby franfran » Thu Jan 16, 2020 3:57 pm

chirpyaubrey wrote:Yes, I guess so.

Guess. Good choice of word, because you obviously didn't put much thought into the formulation of your reply.

chirpyaubrey wrote:You are doing bad to your child. You are being selfish of course.

What absolute garbage. And you give an opinion dressed up as a fact, without anything to back it up.

chirpyaubrey wrote:If you have the chances then why not go for another baby.

Such a decision needs a more intelligent approach than just saying "why not".

chirpyaubrey wrote:Your single child may face some problem when he or she grows up.

And why may that be the case? A single child socialises with other children and develops relationships and interpersonal skills in the process. And what precisely is "some problem"? Meeting someone with attitudes like yours perhaps?

chirpyaubrey wrote:Siblings are the best part of joy. They may cry together, laughs together, give each other their siblings love. Share love with them, etc.

Probably, but you can't guarantee that.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby offbeatyawn » Thu Mar 26, 2020 7:13 am

It depends on the reason. If both parents have come to this decision because they are certain that it's the only option they can handle, it's fine. It's not selfish at all. It's a mature, brave, and wise decision to acknowledge your strength and capability. If you think you cannot nurture more than one individual financially, emotionally, physically, then why force yourself?

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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby franfran » Sat Apr 25, 2020 2:44 pm

Some of the idiots who have posted in this thread seem to think (if that be the right word) that being an only child is a bad thing, and being one of several children is a good thing. It is not a case of one is good and the other bad, or one is right and the other is wrong, they're just different.

And "Is it fair on the child, who won't get a say in having a sibling?" is one of the stupidest things I have read on this forum. It makes about as much sense as saying that having more than one child isn't fair on the first one, unless you wait a few years to find out if they want a sibling.....
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

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Greatta
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Re: Is it selfish to have an only child?

Postby Greatta » Thu Jun 04, 2020 7:50 am

no it is OK


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