surrogacy is exploitation

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mamaby
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby mamaby » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:55 pm

I don't mean to sound demanding but this post made me smile.It's strange what people would say just to make a statement.Not having any idea about anything.Saying brutal things like "surrogacy is like prostitution". I mean are you actually out of your mind? have you any idea what you are even talking about ?Surrogacy has to be the most beautiful that could happen to an infertile couple.The dream of having a family can finally be fulfilled.I have heard people saying "its just uterus renting".If they only knew what kind of emotional troubles we have to deal with.Do not listen to these fake posers.Do what needs to be done.You do not have to justify your opinion to anyone.If you want to stay hidden I suggest you get it done from Europe.I am currently in contact with this clinic and everything seems to incognito.here a little baby dust for you, stay blessed love.

pheobe412
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby pheobe412 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:25 pm

Listen to me. You are right. Surrogacy may exploit you. This doesn't mean that it's an exploitation for everyone. In your opinion everyone must adopt. That is not possible for everyone. Not everyone wants to adopt. I don't have any problem with it. I am personally in a favor of adoption. Many people I knew they said that what could they do. that won't be there own child. People like that wants surrogacy. If you are not alright with it. You can stop telling people about it. Instead of that more good is if you just let them decide what they want. Just tell them pros and cons of everything. Let them decide then what they required. I hope you understand what I am trying to say to you. Best of luck.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Mon Apr 23, 2018 5:24 pm

Hi to everyone! Too long time no see. I was afraid all the subjects would lose their authors. Life really goes on and it’s totally beautiful.
I had to read everything to refresh my memory. And it wasn’t easy. My mother actually complicated all of things around my life. She is resting in peace now. It makes me glad from one side, because she obtained peace that was too far when she was living.
From another side she was my mom. And now something crucially important is swallowed by void. I feel hollow. I wanted to turn us back to the good old topic. And if you don’t mind I’ll begin.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Mon Apr 23, 2018 5:34 pm

She died in February. I’m admitting it was a month in which we felt like real family. And this feeling was so real after all that we sadly went through.
She wasn’t looking the same usual way. Her body looked like old dusty coat. Sorry for sick metaphors I saw it by myself.
O.K. I hope if you take a look through the window you’ll find a marvelous weather. As I find it now. And it’s a reason for only the best mood.
As well I hope you are doing well and feeling perfectly. And your personal history of infertility ended happily at last. Wow! Just one thing girls!
During that bloody February I got married. And I guess you predict what a news I’m going to present soon.
Last edited by underwateroversky on Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Mon Apr 23, 2018 5:44 pm

No, of course I’m not pregnant! Ahah
We all believe in miracle. However, just a tiny shy wedding couldn’t heal me. That would be too much even for my poor life! Ahah It gave me a chance to continue contacting the clinic I chose.
As we already discussed in Ukraine you can’t be a party of surrogacy without official marriage certificate.
Yes, for that moment I expected to start my journey, I was a single person without hoping for big love.
And don’t dare judging me for marriage of convenience! I was sincere in front of him. He knew me, my health conditions and my vast desire to have a baby. He wanted the same thing and supported me.
My husband Marshal isn’t young and he understands the value of time. So we decided to not postpone our program.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:53 pm

The main message I wanted to send to Camassa is really simple.
We are adult people. We understand nobody can change in a moment. But despite that nothing also does remain without changes. Seems I took a lot from these few months. I truly became wiser.
And now I see there’re some people devoted to adopt but the other ones can’t accept it. And they’ll never be happy with their decision. as your heart tells you to have a baby. If there’s no any option for current time you’ll feel it right only in going through surrogacy.
Don’t listen to anyone. People always know better but let them live with such conviction.
Do it! All talks will have their place later. Your life is only yours and you choose to whom you must dedicate it to. Million kisses and hugs!

kawai
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby kawai » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:09 pm

I just can answer in accordance with my own view. Excuse me if I’m rude or something. I guess it’s free space for chatting.
Hello of course! I apologize for starting without hail. How is it going?
I’m rather fine to talk about it. I’m going to have surrogacy journey. I’m absolutely new experience.
It new for both me and my husband. I had two children from my previous marriage. My first husband died because of illness.
He died 9 years ago. My children are adult. My son is 28 and my daughter is 17.
I can’t bear now. Oh, maybe I’ll be able to carry out baby. Anyway it’s too much dangerous.
I don’t want to die. As well I don’t want to lose my baby during the pregnancy. It’ll be terrible.
My husband is younger than me. He reasonable wants having his own baby. I agreed with him.
That is completely normal desire. He is a man. He wants being a father.
I’m confused about the choice. Today I understand how it’s hard to determine. It’s really exhausting.
Which clinic is really good? What’s the woman carrying my baby? What’s wrong with me?
People love putting their nose into stuff. They always consider their selves as experts. I don’t accept this position.
They look weird to me. I don’t think about adopting. Should it be a reason for me to choose?
I just want to have a baby since they were born. I want to meet my newborn. I don’t intend having baby without knowing what was in his head until I came.
An additional reason is our desire to have a baby genetically linked to us. If it’s my luck, I’ll be able to give my egg. It’ll be perfect.
Am I right? The surrogate doesn’t take part in connections with child? She isn’t related to my baby biologically?
No, they are connected biologically. She feeds him through the umbilical cord. It’s also a connection.
She just doesn’t pass her biological information. That’s good. We expect to have our own sweet baby.
As a rule, I don’t let people advise me as for my children. The advice on adoption is also a trigger for me. It annoys.
We don’t need it. Perhaps the human coming with such statement will be going away. Or he’ll have to face my aggression.
It is such an intimate topic. It’s not polite to ask difference. It mustn’t bother anyone.
I would not interfere anyone with my suggestions. It could hurt. What if they suffered a lot before made this choice?
We have to take into consideration any aspects of the problem. If you decided – do not listen to anyone.
Even if you regret you’ll be aware there’s no one to be blamed but you. Up to us! Absolutely.
I hope that won’t be a big issue. Love people and yourself! Good luck take care!

kawai
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby kawai » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:39 pm

Oh, Gosh! I’m sorry! Dealing with my inner excitement I forgot about ‘exploitation’.
I wanted to say a few words on it. That’s really strange! I just missed the course of thoughts.
I’m afraid it is a true prejudice. These women are agreed on their own. No one forced them to do it.
Is it right? We don’t live at the middle ages. Each person is responsible for his decisions.
As well as surrogates are responsible for the compliance with a treaty. Someone can say they get hired because haven’t money.
Okay, there’re many other ways to earn. I also don’t consider prostitution as an exploitation. It’s kind of a choice.
You should to take many tests before become surrogate. You have to correspond and match. As well you must be careful to the life inside you.
For majority women in Ukraine it can be a real chance to earn more. They don’t need to leave the country. They mustn’t go abroad for working at the factories.
Some women feel pleasure to carry a baby. I felt it. I don’t know maybe it doesn’t work in case you’re carrying someone’s baby.
I don’t know it for sure. As I could figure out they receive good money. Some clinics can provide even care.
I will be treating my surrogate as she’s a hero. Even if she doesn’t want to make friends with me I’ll be respect and love her. It’s essential to keep positive atmosphere between us.
Also I’ll respect her privacy. I don’t have to be annoying. It’s rather new field of experience for me but I’ll be trying.
The main idea of surrogacy is that IP must have a healthy baby. My baby’s health depends on my surrogate’s health. This is understandable.
Those who say it’s exploitation! You should opt for adoption! They perhaps miss some aspects.
I already mentioned them. I want having baby genetically related to my husband. I want to know my baby since birth.
We don’t claim to much. There’s an opportunity. And we gain it because we can.
I don’t mean to be unhappy. All my life was dedicated to struggling for happiness. I did a lot to be such and my children must be such.
It’s inappropriate to face a problem with your adopted baby. This problem could be hidden under the plates of memory. His real parents could be alcoholics and thugs.
I don’t want to know my baby begins doing drugs. He kills someone. He is always cheating me.
It’ll be my failure to blame his real parents. In case of surrogacy all responsibility is mine. I’ll be coping with it by myself.
You are free to choose. If you want having adopted baby, you’ll know why. It’ll be your own view.
In this case no one would be advising you too. Adults must behave as adults. We can be cowards but decisive ones.
We are responsible for much of thing. If we can’t take it we have to surrender. It’s my policy.
I’m a kind one actually. I can’t fringe someone’s freedom. I vote for reasonableness od decision.
My best wishes girls. Don’t let anyone spoil your life. Fight for your interests.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:27 pm

Hi, I’m also sure it’s not an exploitation. However, another opinion exists too. We have to accept it.
You described a model when women get decent money. They just don’t have a choice. Of course theoretically they can choose but…
Their state takes opportunities away. As always surrogates are the women without education. I mean degree.
They are limited with their choice. The options that they may take need much more effort. You were right most of them don’t want to go abroad.
It’s Ukrainian reality. You’ll have a chance to ask your surrogate. Why did she decide to become a mother like that?
Now being infertile I think I could be a surrogate. It’ll do it willfully. Nobody would push on me.
I would do it because I understand. Now it’s quite clear to me. I just want to help people.
It’s only miserable percent of those who are surrogates now. I think money rules and leads the goal.
People merely lack it. They are offered. They can’t resist and participate.
In fact, we can consider it like compulsion. The companies make an offer which women can’t refuse from. It’s an artificial model of enforcement.
It’s rather tough to understand. The main thing is that those women who are surrogates don’t see it like compulsion. They take it like opportunity to earn some money.
It’s profitable for both sides. No, even three parties are satisfied. Just look at following.
The surrogate gets her money mentioned in the contract. The agency gets money from the parents. The parents have their children.
I suppose it’s not the reason to ban it. I don’t understand those countries that forbade such programs. People must be free to choose.
It’s not a drug dealing. We don’t manage kidnaping or prostitution. It’s just the way to become parents legally.
As for prostitutions I’d vote for legalization. This occupation exists since when Christ was alive. Some governments may use it to the good.

camassA
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby camassA » Tue Jul 10, 2018 10:00 am

Thank you all for being so supportive and sharing your thoughts on this matter.
I can tell you that people I meet are getting more stupid. Not so long ago I talked to a woman who had fertility treatment so of course I didn't expect her to attack me and everything. And you know what? She is the silliest woman I've talked to. Her twins are 2 yo and she is 31. I am 10 years older with no children. She has a truely demented way of looking at things. She thinks if a woman is in her 30s and have no kids then she shouldn't try for a baby because it's too late. All the conversation I felt she was talking like Iwould die till my baby's graduation. I'm shocked to be honest and don't understand how person who's been through ivf, knowing what infertility is, can think like this..

amandabrook
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby amandabrook » Sun Jul 29, 2018 5:23 pm

Hello! I hope you do not listen to others. I mean too much. People used to give much advice.
Sometimes they don’t know what they are saying. It’s a big problem when relatives press you and want convincing you in things. Especially when such things are far from the goal you pursue.
I broke up relations with some old friends. They didn’t understand my sacrifice. They couldn’t understand what I was doing for having my babies.
They had their ones. Perhaps it can be a burrier sometimes. They gave birth to their sweethearts without assistance.
Maybe such events create a specific attitude. I hate those who said to me the things like that. It is your destiny.
Try to accept it. God damn! I’m not going to accept injustice of the nature. It’s not a part of my plan.
I was born to give birth. Actually it’s not my single function. I can do a lot of things.
However, my feeling about maternity is something beyond a regular comprehending. I have a cult of parenthood. I’m going to be perfect parent.
Seeing these two sweet angels I want to give them all what I’ve got. They are just born. But they already deserve having all good around.
It’s not easy to express. I don’t think that surrogacy is a kind of exploitation. This method makes everyone happy.
I’m sure no only intended parents are excited. The surrogate and the clinic get good from it. It’s such a fabulous system.
It was a magnificent occasion to be inside it. I’m grateful for this experience. As well I’m grateful for emotions and impressions.
These things can’t just be described with words. This is about feelings. Well, some more words about moral teachers.
All those people teaching me how to live were stupid. I don’t know what they wanted to prevent. They wished a happiness to me but force me to be far from it.
It’s not understandable at all. Sometimes even kind ones put their nose into stuff that is not clear for them. It’s better to leave things how they are than to put pressure on.
I really believe surrogacy made more people happy than advisers. It’s funny to talk about surrogacy. Different people have got different outlook regarding it.
In my opinion it is a miracle by the science. I’m a woman with a long medical history. And I swear I don’t regret I was participating in surrogacy program.
My clinic’s staff was quite polite. I met a lot of pleasant and tolerant guys. I would do it again if we planned having another baby.
I’ ma mother of twins. My girls are the best in the world. It’s difficult to tell about them and easy at the same time.
I’m always angry with myself when I describe them. My language is too miserable to describe my children. They are not just admirable and adorable. They are like angels arrived from heaven.


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