I don’t understand this guy at work

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ElizabethJ2202
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Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2020 11:12 am

I don’t understand this guy at work

Postby ElizabethJ2202 » Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:54 pm

Hello
Let me start off by saying that when I was a child I was not seen as pretty by boys. They would dare each other to date me and told each other I had fleas or germs or lived like a tramp. Girls made fun of me because I was quiet, didn’t wear make up or jewellery like they did, I didn’t smoke and didn’t have many friends.

I was also persuaded to have sex with and marry a Turkish guy when I was 15. When I refused to have sex with him he got mad, blanked me, forced me to touch him and also swore at me.

I am married but I didn’t flirt with my man for us to end up together. We shared similar interests and we bonded and took things from there. We’d known each other for 16 years then we tied the knot.

This guy at work has been doing the following and I don’t know why because he likes airbrushed, bikini/underwear clad models so I’m not even anywhere as pretty as them:

Stares at me
Leers at me
Looks at me, smiles and licks his lips
Tried to approach me but backs off when I am near other people
Asks my friends for my photos, name and number (they’ve told me he does this)
Waits for me outside work
Touched my back, $$$, $$$$s, legs and hips and I was too stunned to react/resist
Told me not to leave the company else he would be unhappy with me
Made lewd comments about me to my friends (they told me he did this)
Told me to my face that my husband isn’t treating me right
Sent me sexual messages on social media and also saying he likes my photos and is asking for my number

I respect him as a person because he was always polite and helpful and I don’t know if I should report him because he is a manager and he will find out. I worry that he will start hating me. He knows I’m married and my husband is aware of the ongoing problem but I feel like I’m stuck over the whole issue.

Outside of work he’s very different - loud, blunt, big drinker, opinionated, has very negative views on LGBT issues, argumentative...

And I dress appropriately at work too.

Thank you for any advice/guidance.

heyup39
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Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2020 8:37 am

Re: I don’t understand this guy at work

Postby heyup39 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:20 pm

His movements towards you are not on. Not at all if you arent encouraging as you say.

Either you need to tell him it's not cool and to back off. Or report him. Perhaps the warning first?

Perhaps go down the lines of telling him how you like him as a friend but his actions need to stop to enable you to treat him as a friend and colleague. Otherwise you'll report?


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