Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

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Nameless
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Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby Nameless » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:47 am

I'm seriously conflicted so I'd really appreciate honest opinions on this. I seem to be at the start of a blossoming relationship with a charming woman that I consider very special. Her qualities include being easygoing, gentle and understanding. We both share a liking for horror films, which should be a bonus, but my problem is that she's drawn to the work of certain directors who are notorious for some of the most 'extreme' films being made; films which have caused large number of people to leave cinemas, and even need medical attention on occasions. E.g. I think she wants to view the 2002 film 'Irreversible' at some point, which apart from other graphic violence, has a shocking 10 minute r*pe (a word you can't use here) scene that ends with the attacker inflicting a brutal beating on his completely traumatised victim. To get an idea of how controversial this film was, see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/2008796.stm

Films she has already seen which have violent sexual content that I suspect would seriously disturb me include 'Antichrist' and 'Nymphomanic: Vol II'.

I should stress that my friend shows absolutely no indication of wanting to actually experience anything remotely resembling what happens in these films, but I'm incapable of fully understanding why she chooses to watch them, although she says she seeks an emotional response and they offer an "interesting experience". She once spent some time in a refuge due to the actions of a partner, which causes me to be all the more baffled by her viewing inclinations.

Maybe I'm too sensitive, but scenes of women being subjected to prolonged explicit violence are simply too much for me. So my question is, is it just me who would have the problem I've described, or would you be similarly uneasy if you had a partner who wanted to watch such films? And if you're a woman who enjoys such films, can you help me to make sense of it?

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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby light1313 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 4:22 pm

We watch all kinds of movies with my husband. For a while we were into watching movies which were banned in a number of countries. When anything gets banned I kind get curious about it. So thats how we ended up watching "A Siberian Film" My husband, who had apparently seen it before, warned me in advance that some of the scenes were very disturbing. After a certain scene I was so disturbed that I decided I didnt want to see anymore (which is rare for me I kind of watch every move to the end). What disturbed and annoyed me more was that my husband continued to watch it I mean how could he. I was so annoyed that this started a heated arguement between us I'll never forget.

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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby mostirreverent » Wed Oct 03, 2018 4:06 am

Nameless wrote:
Films she has already seen which have violent sexual content that I suspect would seriously disturb me include 'Antichrist' and 'Nymphomanic: Vol II'.


:lol: I was going to suggest Antichrist. that is one of the darkest movies I've ever seen. On the other hand, I loved Nymphomanic, both parts. the metaphors are great.

I'm not a fan of gruesome stuff, unless, like zombie films, it is usually on the funny side. I wouldn't sweat it as long as it doesn't effect her personality.
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Elysa
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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby Elysa » Wed Oct 03, 2018 6:18 pm

Personally, I'd plant a red flag on the excess of anything if I didn't know the person very well yet. The films you've mentioned are gratuitously violent and disturbing. (Most films directed by Lars von Trier bad full stop, but that's beside the point).

A person can have too much of anything. Too much food is bad. Taking too many drugs is bad. Even exercise in excess is unhealthy. Wait! Is too much sex bad??? Not for me, it aint! :P

I don't think violent films will influence most people to commit murder or harm themselves. But if natural curiosity turns into a compulsion for more, it's believed that it may cause more aggression in a person's personality, especially if their prone to it. How that can manifest and the argument itself is still up for debate.

I mean, was 'The Catcher In the Rye' responsible for Mark Chapman assassinating John Lennon. No, of course it wasn't. Was Mark Chapman already effed-up in the brain? Umm yeah. Like it or not, something was going to make him snap, but he's responsible for his actions, not a book he misinterpreted.

Don't blame the films, but reach deeper into your girlfriend's personality. Also reach into your own. If you feel it's too extreme, you have every right to feel concerned and it's your responsibility to say something. Give them the benefit of the doubt and don't judge. IMO, anyone fixated on watching ultra violent films over and over again is weird, but I'd be more worried if they watched religious programing or Twilight.

But that's just me.

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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby mostirreverent » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:35 am

Elysa wrote:Most films directed by Lars von Trier bad full stop, but that's beside the point.

But that's just me.

Have you seen Antichrist. It gave me chills. It was sooooo F****** dark. thought here is a good shower sex scene in the beginning, and as horrific as the beginning is, the cinematography and music are astounding. Good or bad, the beginning is so very powerful.

Melancholia was great
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"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
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Elysa
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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby Elysa » Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:14 am

mostirreverent wrote:
Elysa wrote:Most films directed by Lars von Trier bad full stop, but that's beside the point.

But that's just me.

Have you seen Antichrist. It gave me chills. It was sooooo F****** dark. thought here is a good shower sex scene in the beginning, and as horrific as the beginning is, the cinematography and music are astounding. Good or bad, the beginning is so very powerful.

Melancholia was great



Honestly, he's hit or miss with me. I either like it or hate it...or refuse to watch it.

I've never seen Antichrist and I don't think I can. From what I've read about it, it would bother me too much. I don't want to see Dancer in the Dark either. I can't handle 'in your face' psychological violence anymore. Had too much in real life.

I hated The Idiots and had to turn it off. Turned off Nymphomaniac too. Nymphomaniac got lost between Von Trier's brain and his dick. Too much ego. It's Antichrist part 2.

But, I loved Breaking the Waves, Dogville, and Melancholia is one of my all time favorite films. That one shot me in the soul. Melancholia was just him making a great film and giving a real visual interpretation of severe depression, without his dick or ego getting in the way.

After his Hitler comment he'll be out of the loop for a while.

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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby Mr B » Fri Oct 05, 2018 1:11 pm

I wouldnt worry. I love horrors/films that push the boundaries as well. There's a worse scene than the r a p e scene in iIrreversible. Watching these films gives no reason to suggest they want to try anything out, probably just like seeing something outwith the norm.
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Re: Would it trouble you if your partner wanted to watch ultra-violent films?

Postby mostirreverent » Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:43 am

Elysa wrote:
mostirreverent wrote:
Elysa wrote:Most films directed by Lars von Trier bad full stop, but that's beside the point.

But that's just me.

Have you seen Antichrist. It gave me chills. It was sooooo F****** dark. thought here is a good shower sex scene in the beginning, and as horrific as the beginning is, the cinematography and music are astounding. Good or bad, the beginning is so very powerful.

Melancholia was great



Honestly, he's hit or miss with me. I either like it or hate it...or refuse to watch it.

I've never seen Antichrist and I don't think I can. From what I've read about it, it would bother me too much. I don't want to see Dancer in the Dark either. I can't handle 'in your face' psychological violence anymore. Had too much in real life.

I hated The Idiots and had to turn it off. Turned off Nymphomaniac too. Nymphomaniac got lost between Von Trier's brain and his dick. Too much ego. It's Antichrist part 2.

But, I loved Breaking the Waves, Dogville, and Melancholia is one of my all time favorite films. That one shot me in the soul. Melancholia was just him making a great film and giving a real visual interpretation of severe depression, without his dick or ego getting in the way.

After his Hitler comment he'll be out of the loop for a while.

I've not seen Breaking the Waves, The Idiots, or Dancer in the Dark. The beginning of Antichrist is on YouTube, but it really is quite disturbing.

Music from the beginning with no images
soundtrack-lascia ch'io pianga prologue
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices."
Mark Twain

"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
Mosti

Me in the Flesh Redux


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