Husband not interested in sex

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mischa
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Husband not interested in sex

Postby mischa » Mon Aug 29, 2005 7:57 pm

My husband of 14 years is not interested in sex anymore. We make love about once a month. This has been going on for about 3 years. I talk to him about it and he tells me that he just does not think about it that much any more. Now since my kids are older, I have more time and energy to have sex. We used to make love 3 or 4 times a week. I really do not feel that he is cheating on me. He does go to bed earlier than I do, and I even try to go to bed at the same time and he just goes to sleep. I do not how much longer I can go on. I feel that I am unloved and not very attractive any more. (I have only gained 5 pounds throughout our entire marriage. What should I do. I have a co-worker that her husband thinks about it all the time and they are both the same age. Is this normal for a 40 year old man not to have sexual thoughts anymore (or just does not act on them).

lucretius
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Postby lucretius » Mon Aug 29, 2005 8:10 pm

Hi,

Speaking from a males point of view, I believe it is very easy for things to get a bit stagment in the love making department.
Trouble is you get to know what eachother likes and where to touch them and before long I guess it can become a bit like "boiled potatoes" opposed to "roast potatoes".
Try something totally different, though this is hard to write down, there are so many things to be explored and experimented with regarding sex/love making.
Speaking from a mans point of view we are more visual, I mean what we see turns us on more than what we can't see (if you catch my drift), maybe a movie? toys? dressing up? role playing? the list is endless, but the biggest thing I can stress is the visual thing, maybe something revealing, but just enough to make the mind put some work in...

Good luck

Lucretius
Last edited by lucretius on Sun Sep 11, 2005 12:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PoshPaws
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Postby PoshPaws » Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:21 am

Perhaps he could make sure you are satisfied in other ways...If he feels less pressure to perform, it might make him feel more relaxed. Maybe a weekend away, change of scene, try to recapture your "courting" days...good luck. :)

igor
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Postby igor » Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:26 pm

Well, how long has it been since he has had a physical exam? could be something not quite right there.

Anything causing him more stress than before?

When you do have sex, is he still performing well?

I'm no expert but I think at your age, sex would still be a priority. I am 65 and would do it 2-3 times a week if I had my way. For a number of years, 2-3 times a month was OK for my wife til she cut it off completely over a year ago.

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P_1984d
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Postby P_1984d » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:28 pm

Perhaps things just got a bit boring? Do u do the same things in bed all the time? Try something different! New positions, new sexy underwear. If this does not work, then perhaps he is just very tired? Does he work a lot? He's probably stressed.

You gotta tell him how you are feeling, maybe he doesn't realise.
THeY saY HArd w0rK NevEr hURts AnYbOdy, bUt WHy tAKe thE chaNCe???

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stan
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Postby stan » Wed Sep 07, 2005 5:00 am

You say he goes to bed before you falls asleep.

Does this mean that he gets up before you do? (You know what I mean)

Perhaps you need to make some allowance for the difference in your body clocks.

Perhaps you should set his alarm clock half an hour earlier and take advantage of what comes naturally to men first thing in the morning.

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PoshPaws
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Postby PoshPaws » Thu Sep 08, 2005 10:19 pm

You could always go on the net and find yourself a young stud muffin to satisfy your basic urges.... :o :lol:

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DancehallQueen*Sexy CJ
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Postby DancehallQueen*Sexy CJ » Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:01 pm

i think that maybe u need 2 make a change...y r u only trying 2 have sex wen ur goin sleep.....do it at spontaneous time(not meaning in the park in from of children or n e thing)...lol...but just different times of the day perhaps....he wont b tired in the morning...if u kno wa i mean...:D

also do u try 2 iniciate the sex at night?....

and has ur "technique" been the same all these years?

and r u doin n e "not-so-basic" positions so that its not boring?
Once upon a midnight dreary,while I pondered,weak and weary,
Over many a quaint&curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded,nearly napping,suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping,rapping at my chamber door.

Sh*t um scared :?

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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby KT66 » Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:12 pm

I'm a perfect negative of your situation.
My wife claims she never thinks about sex, never has fantasies, it's just not on her mental menu.

I've spent 3 years trying find a spark that was once there, before she met me she was VERY promiscous.
Occasionally there is some progress, via,conselling, erotic stories, films, S&M, lingerie, toys, I've tried ever angle to try and get some
interest and it not all be one way. I've almost given up trying after 3 years I have no energy left after being contastantly put down, no sexual compliments etc. I have almost stopped fancying her.

So you have my sympathies, why not try some of the above? a Burlesque Show is always a good one.
Tell him about your fantasies, wear nice lingerie and hold ups every day, comment on sexy stuff on tv etc

good luck

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Plucky_ Gold
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby Plucky_ Gold » Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:08 am

As long as he is being faithful, what the big deal with once a month sex ? Do you rather have a guy who is interested in sex all the time and one day if you cant keep up with him, he goes for someone behind your back ?

orange
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby orange » Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:10 pm

My husband of 14 years is not interested in sex anymore. We make love about once a month. This has been going on for about 3 years. I talk to him about it and he tells me that he just does not think about it that much any more. Now since my kids are older, I have more time and energy to have sex. We used to make love 3 or 4 times a week. I really do not feel that he is cheating on me. He does go to bed earlier than I do, and I even try to go to bed at the same time and he just goes to sleep. I do not how much longer I can go on. I feel that I am unloved and not very attractive any more. (I have only gained 5 pounds throughout our entire marriage. What should I do. I have a co-worker that her husband thinks about it all the time and they are both the same age. Is this normal for a 40 year old man not to have sexual thoughts anymore (or just does not act on them).
Hi, Cook a nice meal, lay the table with candles , a good bottle of wine and sprinkle paper hearts on the table.Run a hot bath and light some candles and ask him to share the bath.Tell him you dont want to have sex.Tell him you both need a little pampering.Marriage can sometimes be a little like eating dinner ..the same old thing. You have to spring a few surprises.Sadly its normally the woman as men are not very good at the romance. Or buy a book on massage and some oils.Play some soft music and aske him if you can give him a massage.Massage normally aroses even a tied grumpy man.Even if you feel sad try not to show it.Smile ,laugh, play music,invite him for a walk in a park,by the sea.
Before you know it he will wake up and remember what he loves about you.Good luck.

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marby
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby marby » Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:12 am

My husband of 14 years is not interested in sex anymore. We make love about once a month. This has been going on for about 3 years. I talk to him about it and he tells me that he just does not think about it that much any more. Now since my kids are older, I have more time and energy to have sex. We used to make love 3 or 4 times a week. I really do not feel that he is cheating on me. He does go to bed earlier than I do, and I even try to go to bed at the same time and he just goes to sleep. I do not how much longer I can go on. I feel that I am unloved and not very attractive any more. (I have only gained 5 pounds throughout our entire marriage. What should I do. I have a co-worker that her husband thinks about it all the time and they are both the same age. Is this normal for a 40 year old man not to have sexual thoughts anymore (or just does not act on them).
Hi, Cook a nice meal, lay the table with candles , a good bottle of wine and sprinkle paper hearts on the table.Run a hot bath and light some candles and ask him to share the bath.Tell him you dont want to have sex.Tell him you both need a little pampering.Marriage can sometimes be a little like eating dinner ..the same old thing. You have to spring a few surprises.Sadly its normally the woman as men are not very good at the romance. Or buy a book on massage and some oils.Play some soft music and aske him if you can give him a massage.Massage normally aroses even a tied grumpy man.Even if you feel sad try not to show it.Smile ,laugh, play music,invite him for a walk in a park,by the sea.
Before you know it he will wake up and remember what he loves about you.Good luck.
That sounds so simple and romantic. :)
[url=http://www.theweddingticker.com][img]http://www.theweddingticker.com/ticker/30384.png[/img][/url]

bestbreasts
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby bestbreasts » Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:35 am

plan it out with him and talk to him about his desires, im sure there something you both might enjoy and then u have the fun of trying them out
i dream of pink cute nipples

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caitlin_7
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby caitlin_7 » Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:44 pm

Go to Ann Summers or inject him with testosterone or something to boost his sex drive, you'll be at it all week :)

karenlynn50
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Re: Husband not interested in sex

Postby karenlynn50 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:17 pm

As long as he is being faithful, what the big deal with once a month sex ? Do you rather have a guy who is interested in sex all the time and one day if you cant keep up with him, he goes for someone behind your back ?
that's tru it's great to have somene watching yer back...but as a woman we need love and affection toooooooooo!!!!!


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