I am a male but need a women’s input please.

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Anonymous_male
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Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 6:42 pm

I am a male but need a women’s input please.

Postby Anonymous_male » Fri Jan 12, 2018 7:12 pm

Hello there femalefirst members,
I know i am not your typical member, but i thought it be better to ask women for advice than my male friends or a male forum.
So my girlfriend and i are honesty deeply in love and trust each other. The thing is that my in my previous relationships i have been misled, lied to, cheated on and heart broken to a point where i chose to give up on relationships and stay single for a while. Then i met HER. At that time she was a coworker. But it from day one that i knew i felt something for her. Call it faith, true love, false hope, love at first sight... i call it god’s will.
Now we’re dating and we talk all the time about how we’re there for each other no matter what. She calls herself my ride or die. Compares us to bonnie and clyde. And even calls ME the love of her life. Her and i go to church together, feed the homeless and i have even gotten closer to god because of her. She has been a great admiration, inspiration and influence to me.
But I’m here today because i need help figuring out what my best couse of action should be. This topic is very debatable but i am sure that with the help of smart intelligent women i can make the right choice.
My girl is a senior and i graduated already. Her school is having a dance and well... im just going to post the small convo for you to read and see yourself.

Her: But hopefully you can come
Me: So am i invited ?
Me: Oh ok babe
Her: Yes
Me: What if your school says i cant go?
Her: I have to because I'm basically the one organizing
Me: Oh ok
Me: Cool

This isn’t the entire thread of texts and i left some out to aboid making this longer but she was telling me she wanted to twerk on me. If i Don’t get to go, should i be worried she’ll twerk on other guys.??.. i Have told her that she can go out if she wants because i trust her but we all know how school dances/parties can be and can end. I honestly feel very uncomfortable about her going without me. should tell her how i feel and come out looking as if im trying to control her or keep my mouth shut, words to my self and endure the uncomfortable and itching feeling im going to have that entire night.?
I really love this woman and i don’t want to ruin things with her.
But i don’t feel like it’s healthy either to do things that your partner is uncomfortable with you doing... for the sake of the relationship.
I don’t want to be nor am i trying to be controlling but i believe in respecting your significant other’s feelings, emotions, and views on EVERYTHING. That’s why they are your significant other. Respect is always 1st in my code.

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light1313
High Priestess
Posts: 879
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:40 am

Re: I am a male but need a women’s input please.

Postby light1313 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:18 pm

You havent mentioned why you dont want to go. But I suggest that you go with her instead of sitting at home and wondering what she is up to and you might have a good time together too. But if you really dont want to go and decide not to go then you should trust her to go on her own. If you think that she is the kind of woman who will twerk other guys and sleep with them just because you are absent then she is not the right person for you (presuming you want to be exclusive with her) Then you should not be together in the first place (like you broke up with the previous women who lied to you). If you know she is not a woman like that then you should trust her otherwise its your own sense of insecurity. And assuming that she is trustworthy and faithfull if you develop the habit of trying to accusingly check on her all the time that would be very insulting. Relationships are based on trust.
I can understand maybe you dont want her to be in an environment in which other guys will flirt with her and she may feel tempted, but then either go with her or understand that if she is faithful and devoted to you she will not give into temptation and even may not be tempted at all.

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Elysa
Master Wizard
Posts: 1772
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 3:26 am

Re: I am a male but need a women’s input please.

Postby Elysa » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:13 am

Anonymous_male wrote:I don’t want to be nor am i trying to be controlling but i believe in respecting your significant other’s feelings, emotions, and views on EVERYTHING. That’s why they are your significant other. Respect is always 1st in my code.




com·pro·mise (kŏm′prə-mīz′)

noun
1.
an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
"an ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise a compromise acceptable to both"
synonyms: agreement, understanding, settlement, deal, trade-off, bargain, balance


verb
1.
settle a dispute by mutual concession.
"in the end we compromised and deferred the issue"
synonyms: meet each other halfway, come to an understanding, make a deal, make concessions, find a happy medium, strike a balance; give and take
"we compromised"

2.
accept standards that are lower than is desirable.
"to twerk"

Jean-Louise
FF Royalty
Posts: 3281
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:55 pm

Re: I am a male but need a women’s input please.

Postby Jean-Louise » Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:49 pm

Anonymous_male wrote:Hello there femalefirst members,
I know i am not your typical member, but i thought it be better to ask women for advice than my male friends or a male forum.
So my girlfriend and i are honesty deeply in love and trust each other. The thing is that my in my previous relationships i have been misled, lied to, cheated on and heart broken to a point where i chose to give up on relationships and stay single for a while. Then i met HER. At that time she was a coworker. But it from day one that i knew i felt something for her. Call it faith, true love, false hope, love at first sight... i call it god’s will.
Now we’re dating and we talk all the time about how we’re there for each other no matter what. She calls herself my ride or die. Compares us to bonnie and clyde. And even calls ME the love of her life. Her and i go to church together, feed the homeless and i have even gotten closer to god because of her. She has been a great admiration, inspiration and influence to me.
But I’m here today because i need help figuring out what my best couse of action should be. This topic is very debatable but i am sure that with the help of smart intelligent women i can make the right choice.
My girl is a senior and i graduated already. Her school is having a dance and well... im just going to post the small convo for you to read and see yourself.

Her: But hopefully you can come
Me: So am i invited ?
Me: Oh ok babe
Her: Yes
Me: What if your school says i cant go?
Her: I have to because I'm basically the one organizing
Me: Oh ok
Me: Cool

This isn’t the entire thread of texts and i left some out to aboid making this longer but she was telling me she wanted to twerk on me. If i Don’t get to go, should i be worried she’ll twerk on other guys.??.. i Have told her that she can go out if she wants because i trust her but we all know how school dances/parties can be and can end. I honestly feel very uncomfortable about her going without me. should tell her how i feel and come out looking as if im trying to control her or keep my mouth shut, words to my self and endure the uncomfortable and itching feeling im going to have that entire night.?
I really love this woman and i don’t want to ruin things with her.
But i don’t feel like it’s healthy either to do things that your partner is uncomfortable with you doing... for the sake of the relationship.
I don’t want to be nor am i trying to be controlling but i believe in respecting your significant other’s feelings, emotions, and views on EVERYTHING. That’s why they are your significant other. Respect is always 1st in my code.


Sorry, but this seems like much ado about a little.
True love is about trust. It is about give and take.
Communication is the key.


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