Son acting inappropriately

Ask other members for advice
Beginner! Talk to me!
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:07 am

Son acting inappropriately

Postby Gemma2 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 2:15 pm

I have posted my problem in the parenting section but have received no helpful answers apart from KirstieRose(thank you). Can someone please help me? : -

Hi everyone, I have come here to ask your advice. I can do this anonymously on here. I couldn't talk to anyone about this, I feel too embarrassed. I am 39 yrs old and have a 16 year old son. My husband left us about 12 months ago. My son ( Mark) was always very quiet and respectful before my husband left. Since he left his behaviour has changed completely.It is as though he thinks he is my equal. I have tried talking to him and even tried shouting at him but he takes no notice and he has this completely arrogant attitude towards me. He refuses to do chores like washing up or tidying his room and I am at my wits end. The reason I am writing though is because his behaviour towards me seems to be verging on a sexual nature ( unless it is me imagining it ). He has taken to walking around in just his pants all the time and some of the time it looks as if he is in a semi aroused state ( I think). I have shouted at him but he just smiles as if he is proud of himself. What finally prompted me to ask advice is that the other night I walked past his bedroom and he had left his door open and was completely naked, masturbating on his bed. I was so shocked and while I looked at him he again smiled. I hurried past to my room and haven't mentioned it again. I really need some advice. Thanks Gemma.

User avatar
Mr B
Posts: 4671
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:46 pm
Location: By the River Tay

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby Mr B » Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:53 pm

Sounds like a bit of a nightmare. 16 year olds can be a pain in the ass, and he's probably going through a rebellious stage. No idea what to recommend. Assuming his Dad is totally off the scene?
Your opinion is wrong.

Beginner! Talk to me!
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:07 am

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby Gemma2 » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:18 pm

Yes, completely off the scene.

Yours Truly
Wall Flower
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:11 am

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby Yours Truly » Fri Jun 16, 2017 6:10 am

Gemma2 wrote:Yes, completely off the scene.

Dear Ms.Gemma, I do not know if I am permitted to advice you here since I am a new entrant.Just ,while browsing,stumbled upon this .If the forum rules permit,
It could be a passing phase.Do not get exasperated or angry.That feeds him.He is passing through a fixation phase.Many boys of his age are fixated on their moms and sexual fantasies revolve around the latter.He should not bacome aggressive sensing your helplessness and so here is a suggestion,

I feels you could approach the social service branch of the police if not a counsellor.They will gently try to change him and if he doesn't change his behaviour,they have their methods.They might advise yoy to send him to a boarding school.

If you can (and if he has a p.c./android with internet ) try to browse his browsing history when he is not around.If he is roaming sites pertaining to i***** (or worse bondage),that will give you all the more reason to get the s.s.branch of the police to drill a sense of normalcy and propriety.I neither endorse nor oppose such out of the ordinary relationship .You will have to determine what is your wish.Best luck.

Chat Master
Posts: 386
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:58 am

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby DavyJ » Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:46 am

I went through something a bit similar with my daughter when she was 14 and 15. Her mother was more or less unavailable, so the setup was quite similar. It basically started when she "discovered" boys, and, you are right, it was a real pain in the ass for a year or so. It seemed she viewed the entire world through some sort of sexual filter. MTV videos were all the rage back then, and it seemed like all her favorites were X rated. She had been buying her own clothes for 2 years, and they definitely took a turn for the more provocative styles. She also got real casual about privacy, often running around the house in just her underwear or small nightie, not closing doors, walking in on me frequently, etc. Now none of us had made any big deal about privacy when she was younger and her mother was still around, so this wasn't too big a deal, but she did go through a "phase" at about 11-12 where she suddenly "needed" her privacy, but by 14 she was back to not caring.

I pretty much decided this was just a phase she was going through growing up and maturing, so I just let it be. She did settle down a bit in due course, and I definitely felt I was right not to make an issue of her behavior. Throughout she was doing fine in school, and I definitely had my hands full with other battles that seemed more important. Besides, I was more or less the same way at that age too, never caring if my mother saw me naked, or whatever.

So, I guess my biggest question is: is everything else going ok? Is his schoolwork good, does he have a good set of friends, is he dating any, are there other behavioral issues, etc, etc. [I could not believe how much I learned when driving her and her friends all over town, because they all talked freely as if I wasn't there.] So, if this is just one of many issues, then its undoubtedly more important than if it is his only "issue".

Beginner! Talk to me!
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:20 am

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby Fambanging » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:05 am

What did you realy felt when he was mastrubating??? How wel does he knows his mom??? Believe me he is on to something cause he decide to act! He takes initiatief cause he's a man now and takes on the responsibilities around the house! Alow him to demonstrate and prove that you taught him well and that now he is the one who give punishments! You'll be so happy afterwards i know why......cause you posted this hoping someone like me confirmatively answerand your feelings so infact answered your p#$$¥ and it doesn't mather if you'll never ever admit it publicly you know now that i know... Have fun and hopefully for you , you got yourself a real man around the house so you get told what to do!!!

Wet behind the ears
Posts: 138
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:30 pm

Re: Son acting inappropriately

Postby dottitotti » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:59 am

How is he doing now?
Is he still acting in this way?

Return to “Members Advice”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest