Whats cheating?

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light1313
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Whats cheating?

Postby light1313 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:44 pm

I personally agree that its not cheating if a couple have an agreed open relationship and both are sincerely ok with and one or both have given the other permission to have sexual relations with someone else but other than that where would you draw the line between what is cheating and what is not?
1- masturbating alone
2 watching porn
3- masturbating to porn
4- masturbating / having sex with sex toys including life size dolls
5- having sex with a prostitute
6- flirting and performing sexually intimate acts with some random person with no intercourse or emotions involved
6 having a one night stand with a random person
7 having a F***k buddy with no emotions involved
8 falling in love and having an affair
(you may feel free to change the order of this list aswell)

light1313
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby light1313 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:22 pm

For example my husband thinks that if there are no emotions involved its not cheating. So having a f.ck buddy you only have sex with, is just physical and is the same thing as masturbating to porn or with sex toys ect. He considers it cheating only if you love the other person and have feelings for them and have an affair. I consider it cheating when there is another human being involved, be it having sex with a prostitue or performing sexually intimate acts with another person. I never thought we could think so differently. So I'm curious about what you all think?

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Lady J 624
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Lady J 624 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:06 pm

I think most would agree that 5 and above are cheating. Masturbating with a toy is in a totally different ball park from F****** another person. But that's just my opinion... And my husbands as well :lol:
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emilycurious
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby emilycurious » Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:33 pm

i think if it involves another person other than your partner then it's cheating, and I'd include texting, sexting, messaging, emailing, phoning, skyping - theres an emotion content even if it's pretty simplistic or under-developed, but none the less you have to know you are doing it, so that's where the line had been crossed.
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Elisataylor1
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Elisataylor1 » Tue Sep 12, 2017 10:29 pm

All of them!

diana_robertson
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby diana_robertson » Wed Sep 13, 2017 12:41 am

I dont consider masturbating or p0rn as cheating as there's no real emotional connection with them. Anything involving another person is cheating. Texting someone else with any form of sexual or emotional context is being unfaithful the same way kissing or even holding hands would be.

There's a mental detachment with p0rn because you're not interacting with the people on screen.

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mostirreverent
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby mostirreverent » Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:54 am

light1313 wrote:For example my husband thinks that if there are no emotions involved its not cheating. So having a f.ck buddy you only have sex with, is just physical and is the same thing as masturbating to porn or with sex toys ect. He considers it cheating only if you love the other person and have feelings for them and have an affair. I consider it cheating when there is another human being involved, be it having sex with a prostitue or performing sexually intimate acts with another person. I never thought we could think so differently. So I'm curious about what you all think?

I think is is sort of cheating if you masturbate, and don't give your partner first right of refusal.

I can see where your husband is coming from. I mean really, what's the harm, especially in a different city etc. how is it all that different from jerking off to thoughts of other women? Same with a prostitute. It's definitely not cheating say if he does it to do something a woman won't do. OK, it's cheating, but if she used to give head, or is now saying no more often, the I say do it.
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Elysa
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Elysa » Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:48 am

Loaded topic, Lightbaby. So many people have strong opinions about this. I've had my share of extra-marital affairs, all for different reasons. When they happened, one marriage was well beyond repair. The other marriage, lots of fine details there I only reflect on at the proper times.

Only my opinions to offer, I'm not saying anything is right or wrong. Tried to keep it light-hearted too.

1- masturbating alone - Not cheating. Anyone offended by a partner masturbating alone is due back on planet Earth.

2 - watching porn - Not cheating. But boring.

3 - masturbating to porn - Not cheating. I would only indulge if it was lesbian porn.

4 - masturbating / having sex with sex toys including life size dolls -
toys, not cheating. Doll sex, not cheating. Many other things, but not cheating.

5 - having sex with a prostitute - Yes, cheating. Something needs to be addressed in the relationship imo.

6 - flirting and performing sexually intimate acts with some random person with no intercourse or emotions involved - Yes, cheating. I did this a couple times, but not with anyone random.

7 - having a one night stand with a random person - Yes, cheating.

8 - having a F***k buddy with no emotions involved - Yes, cheating. Did this.

9 - falling in love and having an affair - Guilty. Love him very much too.

All cheating scenarios come with footnotes. There's reasons behind it. After the initial drooling phase or even if you're just thinking about it, you can't ignore the reasons for cheating. Blanking on self-reflection only makes things worse.

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emilycurious
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby emilycurious » Wed Sep 13, 2017 1:51 pm

Elisataylor1 wrote:All of them!

If you are masturbating, and single, who are you cheating on? God?
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PaulG1
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby PaulG1 » Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:09 pm

Hello. I would say 5 and above is classed as cheating im male :)

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Elysa
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Elysa » Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:44 pm

mostirreverent wrote:
light1313 wrote:For example my husband thinks that if there are no emotions involved its not cheating. So having a buddy you only have sex with, is just physical and is the same thing as to porn or with sex toys. He considers it cheating only if you love the other person and have feelings for them and have an affair. I consider it cheating when there is another human being involved, be it having sex with a prostitue or performing sexually intimate acts with another person. I never thought we could think so differently. So I'm curious about what you all think


I can see where your husband is coming from. I mean really, what's the harm, especially in a different city how is it all that different from jerking off to thoughts of other women? Same with a prostitute. It's definitely not cheating say if he does it to do something a woman won't do. it's cheating, but if she used to give head, or is now saying no more often the I say do it.


Yes, and no

As was my case. Before the affair began, meaning fuking officially. We were friends, and we did not talk about wanting sex from each other. But we felt it, so add innocent flirting, staring at each other, totally feeling the obvious attraction. Plus we didn't know at the time, we were fantasizing about each other while masturbating.

Ask a random wife who fears she's being cheated on. Which is worse?

Your husband W**nking himself silly while fantasizing about his dream woman whom he has feeling for but has not had sex with? Or your husband having sex with a faceless hooker with no emotional ties?

Imo both scenarios are cheating. But at the same time, both scenarios are signaling trouble with the relationship. I would also say neither are cheating, if the marriage is failing and you have no intentions or want to save it.

This is why the topic is touchy. It simply isn't black or white.

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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Jean-Louise » Wed Sep 13, 2017 11:54 pm

light1313 wrote:I personally agree that its not cheating if a couple have an agreed open relationship and both are sincerely ok with and one or both have given the other permission to have sexual relations with someone else but other than that where would you draw the line between what is cheating and what is not?
1- masturbating alone
2 watching porn
3- masturbating to porn
4- masturbating / having sex with sex toys including life size dolls
5- having sex with a prostitute
6- flirting and performing sexually intimate acts with some random person with no intercourse or emotions involved
6 having a one night stand with a random person
7 having a F***k buddy with no emotions involved
8 falling in love and having an affair
(you may feel free to change the order of this list aswell)


If you have an open relationship, I would say that none of these eight categories are cheating.
My only request would be that your partner(s) practice safe sex. I would not want to catch some STD from a partner, just because that person wanted to have unprotected sex.
It all boils down to, are you (A.) having a fun relationship with no commitment; or (B.) you are committed to the other person, solely.

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Elysa
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Elysa » Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:06 am

Jean-Louise wrote:
light1313 wrote:I personally agree that its not cheating if a couple have an agreed open relationship and both are sincerely ok with and one or both have given the other permission to have sexual relations with someone else but other than that where would you draw the line between what is cheating and what is not?
1- masturbating alone
2 watching porn
3- masturbating to porn
4- masturbating / having sex with sex toys including life size dolls
5- having sex with a prostitute
6- flirting and performing sexually intimate acts with some random person with no intercourse or emotions involved
6 having a one night stand with a random person
7 having a F***k buddy with no emotions involved
8 falling in love and having an affair
(you may feel free to change the order of this list aswell)


If you have an open relationship, I would say that none of these eight categories are cheating.
My only request would be that your partner(s) practice safe sex. I would not want to catch some STD from a partner, just because that person wanted to have unprotected sex.
It all boils down to, are you (A.) having a fun relationship with no commitment; or (B.) you are committed to the other person, solely.



A lot of open relationships make arrangements beforehand though. To avoid the negative effects sleeping with other people might cause. That's why I always laughed when after having a threesome with a couple. More than often the husband contacted me for more, without wifey.

I always said "but you guys told me you consider that cheating". Of course this all happened after they bragged about how they conquered the sex world.

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mostirreverent
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby mostirreverent » Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:18 am

emilycurious wrote:
Elisataylor1 wrote:All of them!

If you are masturbating, and single, who are you cheating on? God?

and spilling one's seed is not a reference to masturbation. God was pissed that he was not obeyed by Onan for not banging his brother's wife. I wonder what he churches objection is to female masturbation following their poor logic since there is no seed lost.
"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices."
Mark Twain

"A place for everything, and everything all about the place."
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Jean-Louise
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Re: Whats cheating?

Postby Jean-Louise » Thu Sep 14, 2017 12:20 pm

Elysa wrote:
Jean-Louise wrote:
light1313 wrote:I personally agree that its not cheating if a couple have an agreed open relationship and both are sincerely ok with and one or both have given the other permission to have sexual relations with someone else but other than that where would you draw the line between what is cheating and what is not?
1- masturbating alone
2 watching porn
3- masturbating to porn
4- masturbating / having sex with sex toys including life size dolls
5- having sex with a prostitute
6- flirting and performing sexually intimate acts with some random person with no intercourse or emotions involved
6 having a one night stand with a random person
7 having a F***k buddy with no emotions involved
8 falling in love and having an affair
(you may feel free to change the order of this list aswell)


If you have an open relationship, I would say that none of these eight categories are cheating.
My only request would be that your partner(s) practice safe sex. I would not want to catch some STD from a partner, just because that person wanted to have unprotected sex.
It all boils down to, are you (A.) having a fun relationship with no commitment; or (B.) you are committed to the other person, solely.



A lot of open relationships make arrangements beforehand though. To avoid the negative effects sleeping with other people might cause. That's why I always laughed when after having a threesome with a couple. More than often the husband contacted me for more, without wifey.

I always said "but you guys told me you consider that cheating". Of course this all happened after they bragged about how they conquered the sex world.


Lets face it, men and women communicate in different ways.
Man or woman, I always make it clear to my partners that I have a lot of different people.
I do not want to be in an exclusive relationship. At least not at this point in my life.
If they can handle those terms, we are okay. I have lost a few good lovers because of this, but that is the way I roll.


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