Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

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StrawberryLollipop
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Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby StrawberryLollipop » Tue Dec 05, 2017 10:13 am

Hello girlfriends :)
I'm 20 years old (21 really soon) and I've never been in a relationship. I've had couple of flings with two guys but nothing really major. I am still a virgin and am planning to wait until marriage. However, I've alway had this problem since young age and I don't know if it's a problem. I find myself fantasizing about men and guys very often and with a different ones. If I find someone attractive I would most likely have fantasies with that guy for at least a couple of day and then change for a new character. I am shy and don't usually initiate anything with guys so my fantasies basically always stay fantasies and never become reality. Does anyone deal with my same issue? Help :?

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Starshine
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby Starshine » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:41 pm

I do not understand how you can have had a couple of flings and be a virgin but never mind.

In simple terms your body is crying out for sex. This is why you are feeling as you do.

What to do about it, you and only you can decide.
Last edited by Starshine on Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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emilycurious
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby emilycurious » Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:16 pm

StrawberryLollipop wrote:I find myself fantasizing about men and guys very often and with a different ones

The problem is you are fantasizing in English.
“Cut the ending. Revise the script. The man of her dreams is a girl.” ― Julie Anne Peters

light1313
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby light1313 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 9:28 pm

I dont think its an issue at all. I think its perfectly normal.
Healthy? yes its perfectly healthy.
Could there be anything unhealthy about it? In the long run only if ypu keep fantasising and nothing else. overcome your shyness, go out, make friends, find someone you fancy and perhaps start dating.... ect ect.
Take care.

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Starshine
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby Starshine » Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:16 am

One further point for the OP. Sex does not feel any nicer/better because you happen to be married.

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Elysa
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby Elysa » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:13 am

Starshine wrote:I do not understand how you can have had a couple of flings and be a virgin but never mind.


:lol: LOL. Exactly.

Yeah, last time I checked a fling involved doing it. Maybe millennials have a new slang term for it. Don't they say 'friend with benefit' or something stupid like that? Back in the day a friend with a benefit meant they owned a car.

Fu*ck me, young people are annoying. This OP is no exception.

No, sweet cakes. Fantasies are fine. Don't worry about it. Only worry if it starts to sting when you pee.

I suggest you try booze for your shyness. That will cure shyness in no time. You sound like you need a little.

If you want to wait for marriage to fu*ck, that's your decision, (and maybe not a bad idea given the choice of men in your age range). But just know that it's a colossal waste of time. There's no magic moment that makes sex after marriage an incredible amazing experience. (In fact, statistically you're going to have awful sex after marriage).

Here, you should read this book.



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light1313
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby light1313 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:36 pm

Elysa wrote:
Starshine wrote:I do not understand how you can have had a couple of flings and be a virgin but never mind.


:lol: LOL. Exactly.

Yeah, last time I checked a fling involved doing it. Maybe millennials have a new slang term for it. Don't they say 'friend with benefit' or something stupid like that? Back in the day a friend with a benefit meant they owned a car.

Fu*ck me, young people are annoying. This OP is no exception.

No, sweet cakes. Fantasies are fine. Don't worry about it. Only worry if it starts to sting when you pee.

I suggest you try booze for your shyness. That will cure shyness in no time. You sound like you need a little.

If you want to wait for marriage to fu*ck, that's your decision, (and maybe not a bad idea given the choice of men in your age range). But just know that it's a colossal waste of time. There's no magic moment that makes sex after marriage an incredible amazing experience. (In fact, statistically you're going to have awful sex after marriage).



In the country where I come from girls were expected to keep thier virginity until they got married. They are not anymore, but some stil do. So what happenned? All had numourous flings but didnt go all the way (ie vaginal penetration). So (acquiting our OP by the way) these girls still had thier orgasms via clitoral stimulation and had done everything imaginable from mouth F*** to ass F*** and with numourous guys but on thier wedding night they would be as clean as snow innocent virgins for thier husbands, and the bleeding hymen would be the proof. How more hypoctitical can you get?
Anyway for me strangly I feel that sex did / does feel better after marriage (in some ways) especially the first few years after that I dont know what happens because I havent been married for that long. However Im not a religous or conservative person at all and niether is my husband and I dont care about any society's view about virginity or what anybody thinks; my body is none of thier bussiness but still strangely there was a magic moment for me on our wedding night that made it an amazing experience. Although I was not a virgin and although we had f*cked so many times before, it just felt so "right" that night and so beautiful to be in the arms of the one who was my legal lawfully recognised partner / husband who had just vowed to love me forever.... It really felt beautiful.

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Elysa
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby Elysa » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:27 am

light1313 wrote:
In the country where I come from girls were expected to keep thier virginity until they got married. They are not anymore, but some stil do. So what happenned? All had numourous flings but didnt go all the way (ie vaginal penetration). So (acquiting our OP by the way) these girls still had thier orgasms via clitoral stimulation and had done everything imaginable from mouth F*** to ass F*** and with numourous guys but on thier wedding night they would be as clean as snow innocent virgins for thier husbands, and the bleeding hymen would be the proof. How more hypoctitical can you get?
Anyway for me strangly I feel that sex did / does feel better after marriage (in some ways) especially the first few years after that I dont know what happens because I havent been married for that long. However Im not a religous or conservative person at all and niether is my husband and I dont care about any society's view about virginity or what anybody thinks; my body is none of thier bussiness but still strangely there was a magic moment for me on our wedding night that made it an amazing experience. Although I was not a virgin and although we had f*cked so many times before, it just felt so "right" that night and so beautiful to be in the arms of the one who was my legal lawfully recognised partner / husband who had just vowed to love me forever.... It really felt beautiful.



I didn't say the "magic moment" didn't exist. Of course it does. And I've had mine.

But it can happen at any time. Doesn't have to be only after marriage.

I had my magic moment during an extra marital affair. Your description is spot on, it felt right. It was an unbreakable and totally understood connection of bodies and minds. A feeling of compatibility, devotion, and (as sappy as it may sound to some people) ....love.

Awwwwwww. I'm getting all teary.

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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby DavyJ » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:47 pm

StrawberryLollipop wrote:I'm 20 years old (21 really soon) and I've never been in a relationship. I've had couple of flings with two guys but nothing really major. I am still a virgin and am planning to wait until marriage. However, I've alway had this problem since young age and I don't know if it's a problem. I find myself fantasizing about men and guys very often and with a different ones. If I find someone attractive I would most likely have fantasies with that guy for at least a couple of day and then change for a new character. I am shy and don't usually initiate anything with guys so my fantasies basically always stay fantasies and never become reality. Does anyone deal with my same issue? Help :?

I was exactly the same way, but about girls, not guys (LOL), but at a much younger age. I was certainly over it before 20. Check out the good advise offered here.

Jean-Louise
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Re: Sexual Fantasies healthy or not??

Postby Jean-Louise » Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:54 pm

StrawberryLollipop wrote:Hello girlfriends :)
I'm 20 years old (21 really soon) and I've never been in a relationship. I've had couple of flings with two guys but nothing really major. I am still a virgin and am planning to wait until marriage. However, I've alway had this problem since young age and I don't know if it's a problem. I find myself fantasizing about men and guys very often and with a different ones. If I find someone attractive I would most likely have fantasies with that guy for at least a couple of day and then change for a new character. I am shy and don't usually initiate anything with guys so my fantasies basically always stay fantasies and never become reality. Does anyone deal with my same issue? Help :?


Fantasies are normal. They are healthy.
Shyness can be conquered.
Having sexual relations with others is normal.
Waiting until marriage to make a lifelong sexual commitment to one person is your choice.
I have never dealt with your issues, but I would say you seem like a fairly normal human being.


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