surrogacy is exploitation

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camassA
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surrogacy is exploitation

Postby camassA » Wed Jan 31, 2018 12:02 pm

Hi all, I'm new here. I'm going through a nerve-wracking process but the point is that I'm facing with different opinions I'd like to not hear at all. It's nice that people have thoughts about everything but I'm tired of this in everyday life. "surrogacy is exploitation", "why don't you want to adopt", "it's so expensive" and other things I hate hearing every now and then. I told my family and at work about surrogacy but now I regret that.
Here, however, I want to express my feelings so feel free to share your thoughts

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Wed Jan 31, 2018 12:34 pm

I’ve not met my mother for more than a year. I can’t see and talk to her due to her totalitarian manner to treat me. She said “girl you have to accept your fat body and that you’re a looser in building relationships with men. Surrogacy is even worse than if I knew you were drug addicted” excuse me, what??
My mother gathers community of oldie farts which know exactly how young people should live. they're drinking fizzy wine sitting at the sun porch and bringing in a verdict on people like me.
I’m doing everything to start my journey and get some progress in that. Even if my baby is just my main purpose I know I’ve done and given all I had to achieve my dream and make it real
I have something to say regarding this topic my honey

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Wed Jan 31, 2018 1:10 pm

I keep a focus on Ukrainian offer as for surrogacy. They amaze me with conditions and as well I’d love to tie my personal story to this place. I was really close to start. I had a boyfriend who was going to be my husband. It’s required for acceptance into their treatment but my life changed. Now I’m still alone and don’t see how to break through so far.
So many people judge and even don’t want to get closer to this issue. The result’s up to me so I’m carrying on

moni lisa
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby moni lisa » Wed Jan 31, 2018 1:37 pm

Well camassA, i am not an advocate for surrogacy. Everyone needs to do what works for them, and everyone's situation is different. But surrogacy is probably the most misunderstood way to have kids and being that it worked so well for us. There are many positives of surrogacy. I admit that surrogacy is expensive but not as expensive as buying your luxurious house or a brand new car. Nothing is more expensive than having your own child. Nothing seems beautiful and joyful without a child in your home. People say about adoption. Adoption is not cheaper either and you do not have the same feelings and emotions as you have with your own child.In surrogacy the fetus is legally yours from the heart. This is huge and no other means of having a child can promise you this. So, don't listen to people. Do what your heart says because your heart can never misguide you. You know your problems and miseries, not the people because they are not in your condition. Just do whatever you want to, all the best.

camassA
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby camassA » Wed Jan 31, 2018 2:24 pm

@underwateroversky
That's awful when one can't get support from the dearest people especially parents. Mine are with me anymore but I'm sure they would have understood everything. Sorry to hear that you are still alone. Ukraine is a good choice because of its legislation that's why I went there for surrogacy. But I believe you need to be married to start your journey. I hope your life will change for better :pray:

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:53 am

camassA wrote:@underwateroversky
That's awful when one can't get support from the dearest people especially parents. Mine are with me anymore but I'm sure they would have understood everything. Sorry to hear that you are still alone. Ukraine is a good choice because of its legislation that's why I went there for surrogacy. But I believe you need to be married to start your journey. I hope your life will change for better :pray:


I hope and pray for goodness too. I even have an evil plan to find a man who’d agree to marry me for term of my journey. I’d pay him for everything and more. And perhaps if he was not so bad… hah.. and agreed to prolong our relationship I swear I wouldn’t be shitty.
I appreciate the role of a man in a house. My father was unfortunately eaten by my poison mother and he died before he realized his true potential.
Since my mother’s become a widow she began being more venomous than it was before

Jean-Louise
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby Jean-Louise » Sat Feb 03, 2018 5:21 pm

camassA wrote:Hi all, I'm new here. I'm going through a nerve-wracking process but the point is that I'm facing with different opinions I'd like to not hear at all. It's nice that people have thoughts about everything but I'm tired of this in everyday life. "surrogacy is exploitation", "why don't you want to adopt", "it's so expensive" and other things I hate hearing every now and then. I told my family and at work about surrogacy but now I regret that.
Here, however, I want to express my feelings so feel free to share your thoughts


What is wrong with surrogacy?
It is a person’s body.
If that person is not interested in raising a child, but wants to help those who cannot have a child for medical reasons or whatever, why not?
When money changes hands is when we get into the moral issue.

camassA
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby camassA » Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:53 pm

@underwatersky I wish everything was that easy like to find a man and to pay him for everything.
I am so so sorry however for the misfortunes you and your family have to face.
But waht about other options for you? The US or Russia or any other place where single people can become parents? Just don't be blue. I know what it's like and trying to fight sadness. Sending you lots of love

camassA
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby camassA » Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:01 pm

@Jean-Louise I totally agree with you. Little did I know that people would compare this way of becoming a parent to prostitution or child trafficking. It's ridiculous! Like adoption is the only way to act in case of infertility, just silly. Like if I can adopt a baby in a week or two and be happy mother till the end, I don't think so. I do believe that if a person wants something and this is not against the law and in addition can make others happier, no one must get in the way.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:24 pm

[quote="camassA"]

Oh, dear! I’m not sad, disappointed, devastated, depressed, annoyed or upset. I feel fine within my body’s capacity. Do you think I didn’t explore the destinations?
They are really different because of some details. And one of repelling details is blurring of the laws. Perhaps it’d be the most reliable option if country which I’m going to visit and have fertility journey there that provided a particular document informing me that anything won’t go wrong.

underwateroversky
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby underwateroversky » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:39 pm

Even if we look at this matter from the other perspective it’ll not make a big difference.
The example telling this is my own body or someone’s body and we’re free to do whatever we’d love to is simple and quite convincing. However, it’s likely a stereotype. Because different things can have place to be in our life and sometimes even our body behaves like it doesn’t longer belong us.
I think everybody has a chance and if it’s necessary or the last possibility to have a baby we all may take this opportunity because surrogacy is a common achievement of humanity.

chirpyaubrey
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby chirpyaubrey » Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:27 am

camassA wrote:Hi all, I'm new here. I'm going through a nerve-wracking process but the point is that I'm facing with different opinions I'd like to not hear at all. It's nice that people have thoughts about everything but I'm tired of this in everyday life. "surrogacy is exploitation", "why don't you want to adopt", "it's so expensive" and other things I hate hearing every now and then. I told my family and at work about surrogacy but now I regret that.
Here, however, I want to express my feelings so feel free to share your thoughts


Dear one, don't be demotivated by such evolution defying people who question medical innovation to tag surrogacy as exploitation. Next time they come up with such a splendid S*** please, tell them when any of their loved ones has an organ failure they should also let them die because stealing from the dead or terminally ill is beyond exploitation and absolutely inhumane from their type of perspective. Nonetheless, you'll see all this benevolent attitude of these people fade away when it comes to their own matters - they only have a big mouth towards others. Also, don't hesitate to make the reply as rude as possible.... people like that deserves no courtesy. Isn't it obvious 99.9% people who have to go for surrogacy does that because they are out of options to have a baby? No adoption is not the same thing, they won't understand because they are insensitive towards others who haven't been as lucky as them to have kids right away. God knows What makes these letches so ignorant about that! :evil:

They don't get it that the couple who have to actually take such a decision is already wrecked both emotionally and bogged down with the dilemma... and often struggling to manage with the finances for such a high-end clinical aid and it doesn't take much to realise that and perhaps be supportive than being a wacko. Don't let these selfish people ruin your baby dreams.. if it matters to you so much and there's no other way then surrogacy isn't bad neither illegitimate. Wish you luck!

chirpyaubrey
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby chirpyaubrey » Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:33 am

underwateroversky wrote:I keep a focus on Ukrainian offer as for surrogacy. They amaze me with conditions and as well I’d love to tie my personal story to this place. I was really close to start. I had a boyfriend who was going to be my husband. It’s required for acceptance into their treatment but my life changed. Now I’m still alone and don’t see how to break through so far.
So many people judge and even don’t want to get closer to this issue. The result’s up to me so I’m carrying on


Hugs for you! I know a person can still live with such words from an obnoxious colleague or an overly-interfering neighbour but your own mother discourages you like that it becomes totally unbearable. I'd say you did the right thing by going for the no-contact rule instead. I got a little lost between the lines though... do you have a partner or nor currently? I'm asking this because not just Ukraine but many other trustworthy places for reproductive tourism will not allow a surrogacy for a single mom. Also, you'll need authentic medical proofs that you can't bear a child to be accepted for surrogacy - that's a must to ill practices and commercialization of surrogacy.

Helen456
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby Helen456 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:36 am

hey, underwateroversky!!! How much awful thing is when he left you. single parenting is a too much difficult task but not impossible. If you have resources and will to do then you can do. I think you should do and let him see this. I have done without your efforts. As you said you are inspired by surrogacy terms and conditions then what are these conditions that admire you? hope so you will share with us and let us get more awareness from your story. Waiting for those terms. Thank you!!!

Amenda1234
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Re: surrogacy is exploitation

Postby Amenda1234 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:31 pm

Hey there! Hope you're feeling better now. It is good that you decided to talk about your thoughts freely here. As that instantly makes us feel better. Anyways, what matters is what matters to you! Sometimes people think they can give impose their opinion on you but that's not true. Yes, we all free to our opinion but imposing it on anyone is harsh. However, my suggestion to you would be to come from a calm place when engaging with these people. Start doing your own research regarding surrogacy. Surrogacy honestly, according to me is great! As long as it is done from a clinic where things are done legally. The clinic I shortlisted, is in eastern Europe and the thing I like about it is that it is doing everything legally.Also, they are extremely careful and caring regarding the surrogate mother. That ensures that everything is right. To me, that matters a lot as I want that all the work is being done correctly. Anyways, I did a lot of research and I would suggest the same to you. Do your research and stop listening to people don't let them affect you.


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