This doesn't fit into a category - Teen friendships

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Xx_anon_Xx

This doesn't fit into a category - Teen friendships

Postby Xx_anon_Xx » Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:57 am

I'm coming up 14 soon and have no 'real' friends. I'm a studious person but beneath this frontage, I'm told I have good sense of humour and am a lovely person to be around. I have 2 really close adult friends and get on really well with young children, but can't find anyone my own age. I've always battled with regards to my self esteem and confidence - since the age of 9, I've been very conscious about my weight and appearance and I was bullied in primary school for 2 1/2 years, which did not help. I had a friend in primary school who was very different to me and lacked the sense of fun of any normal child of our age at the time and we have now lost touch. I had a lovely friend for a few years but she is 3 years older than me, I'm still so upset I've lost her but don't want to contact her in case she thinks I'm weird and I was always the one arranging everything. Fast forward to now, where my weight and appearance is on my mind more than ever and I'm finding School & friends too much to cope with. Being quite academic, I'm very lucky that I have 0 pressure from my parents but the pressure is all from myself. However, I'm getting in trouble with my parents for not helping around the house enough but just feel so stressed and worried about everything that it completely drains me. My mum had noticed how I'm such a different person when I'm away from school. Since mid year 7, I've been best friends with a girl I'd known since the age of 4 but we'd never been close friends as the girl who bullied me was best friends with her. However, I thought my now-'friend' had changed since also being bullied by the same girl. Perhaps not. She has called me an arse, ganged up with another girl who insulted me non-stop for 15 minutes about how I'm a snob, boast about everything and take control etc, told me I embarrass her, posted pictures I asked her not to post on social media and a ridiculous amount of things to list and yet, when I confront her, she claims she's just joking, I take everything too seriously and she is my best friend. She is incredibly jealous of me and has an extremely competitive nature. I do worry that I do take things too seriously and wonder that maybe she is just joking; but it hurts even still. I'm one of those people who puts their everything into a friend but it all gets thrown back in my face. I do have other friends I could hang out with but I feel only 2 of them in the group genuinely like me. I do have interests which get ridiculed on a regular basis by 'friends' of mine; eg my blog. I would be so grateful if someone could let me know if they've experienced this and how you have coped/ are coping with similar issues.

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emilycurious
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Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: This doesn't fit into a category - Teen friendships

Postby emilycurious » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:43 pm

I'm sorry to give you such a cliche reply, but you need to talk to someone.
Talk to your Mum, she sounds like she is already aware of your anxiety.
And if that doesn't work you need to talk to an adult you trust, someone at school would be best, I can assure you this is not an unusual situation, and they have people who know how to help you.
(You don't mention this, but I would limit your social media interactions, seeing your friends in person is enough, knowing what each other are doing and saying 24/7 is very stressful!)
“That’s your orgasm talking… You’re not really in love with me.” - Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

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Mr B
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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:46 pm
Location: By the River Tay

Re: This doesn't fit into a category - Teen friendships

Postby Mr B » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:02 pm

Kids can be little shits, and its a shame you sound like you know a few. It's all about being coolest, and surviving, unfortunately that leads to selfish behaviour and not taking other people's feelings into account. Your "best friend" isnt a friend at all. No best friend should make you feel the way you do. Whats the answer? I don't know, but I'd try and faze her out of your life. Maybe try and approach the 2 girls in the group you like. You dont have to hang out with their friends

And speak to your mum.
Your opinion is wrong.


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